I've been battling with depression and anxiety for a good part of my life. I spent a good chunk of my life, pretending that my mental health was ok, I ignored the signs of my anxiety and my depression, playing it off like everything was ok. It wasn't.

I'm the type of person who will give you the shirt off my back and then some. I'm the one who makes a point to be there for a friend when they need help. But, I never seemed to get that back. Instead of telling people how I felt if something was bothering me or annoying me or making me upset, I kept it all inside. I would bottle it all up until I couldn't take it anymore and I found myself exploding on the next person who got under my skin, which isn't the most healthy thing to do.

Up until the summer before my freshman year at Columbia College Chicago, I never spoke up about what was wrong. I let it slide, I ignored it. Once I turned eighteen I started realizing that this wasn't something I could go through alone; I needed help. I needed someone to teach me how to handle my panic attacks and my anxiety, and once I got over that hump, I was able to tell myself that I needed to be able to back away from situations that were anxiety inducing.

There was a point in the summer where I felt like I was just completely drained of life. I felt like everyone was against me. I wanted to delete my social medias. I couldn't sleep. I began to keep those emotions inside again. I didn't want to tell my boyfriend how I was feeling, but I took a deep breath and flat out said "I need to take a step back. I need to put how I'm feeling first." Which was the truth. If I hadn't, I might have had a panic attack; I might have let the toxic people stay in my life.

Overall, the main take away from all of this is not enough of us put our mental health first. We choose to become so overwhelmed with stress or anxiety that we let it consume us. We don't find positive ways the help our minds out. In the end, we can always work out our body, but there comes a point were we need to sit down and talk about what's going on inside our heads.