If there's one thing I've learned in the past year is that no one is more important than yourself. There isn't anyone more deserving of happiness, love and success than yourself. But yet we spend so much time putting the needs of the ones around us and the ones we love. And there's nothing wrong with making sure those people are taken care of but not at the expense of neglecting our own needs. I have spent so much time putting everyone else before me that I forgot that I needed someone to put my needs first. I always thought that some day someone would come along and do the same for me, that I did for everyone else.
And then I realized that the one person that needed to take care of me, was me.
So I learned how to say no. No was never used in my vocabulary before and now I have learned that it's okay to say no. It took a while for people to get that no really meant no. A lot of people got angry and asked me why I was being so mean and what happened to the nice version of myself. It took a lot of convincing to get me to realize that I can still be that same nice person and say no. But it took even more convincing to show others that. You don't ALWAYS have to say yes to someone and out everything for you on hold. And it's okay to say no and not feel guilty about it.
It's okay to change. It's okay to grow into someone that you weren't before. By putting myself first I could truly be the person that I wanted to be and not who everyone else expected or wanted me to be. I've learned to love myself and treat myself better because of that. I no longer let others tell me how I should act or what I should be like. I chose to put myself first and that means being the person I want to be and only because I want to be that way,
I learned that the only person you can 100% count on, is yourself. People come and go and they will disappoint you. When I started making myself a priority, the people that I thought would be my side became people I used to know. Some people only like a certain version of yourself and when that changes so do they. You are your biggest supporter and the one voice you should listen to is the one inside your head.
Learning the balance between putting yourself first and making others happy is a challenge. I had to learn how to balance prioritizing myself while still making time to make everyone else happy. At times it can seem like you're focusing too much on yourself and not enough on others or you're doing too much for others and not enough for yourself and it will make you think you there's no way to make it all work. But you can and it may take time, practice and patience.
I learned to get rid of anything that was negative and toxic. I didn't need that kind of energy around me when I was trying so hard to better myself. It seemed abrupt to end things so quickly or remove myself from those situations but ultimately it was exactly what I needed.
At the end of the day, your top priority should be taking care of yourself enough to make you happy. It may seem selfish and goes against what we have been taught all our life: care about others. And you should but sometimes it's okay to care about yourself more and make you the center of your world. Life's a lot more enjoyable that way.
