We all have a little bit of the overly agreeable gene inside of us. Whether it's because we want to please others, we want to lessen the burden on others, or we genuinely get excited and think we can handle doing more than we can, nodding our heads without thinking the yes through can wind up real bad, real fast.
But guess what? It's November now, and while the internet has a plethora of ideas of ways to celebrate — writing an entire novel, giving up shaving, and even abstaining from sex — there's one that I'm a really big fan of, and that's practicing the art of saying no. Saying no when you don't want to do something but are worried about coming off as unpolite, saying no when you're too busy with other things but feel obligated to take on another responsibility, and even saying no when you want to do something but know that it's more than you can handle while taking care of yourself.
Yes, taking care of yourself is essential. Even when it's not November.
I'm really really guilty of this, and most of the time, it comes from good intentions. I hear about a new project or opportunity and I get excited and say that I'll be involved. And because I'm a little bit too controlling, getting involved is always one hell of a commitment. I never realize how deep I'm in until I'm burning out, and by that point, I'm not taking care of myself and I'm not giving all of my commitments the attention they deserve.
So one way I plan to practice NOvember is by making a conscious effort to take a pause before I agree to something and actually aiming to underbook myself. I know I definitely will not end up doing that, so hopefully, that'll land me in the sweet spot of doing enough — maybe even more than enough — but not too much. Another piece of this is learning how to prioritize my passions and giving more time to the things that matter and less time to the things that I find draining.
I encourage you to celebrate this month however you see fit and to listen to your body and your spirit as to what you do and do not need. Our time and our space are valuable, and we need to protect these at all costs, even if we're taught that that's not the polite thing to do.
