Episode IV: A New Hope
1. Number 4 first? ¿Por que?
2. I could have definitely made this intro on iMovie.
3. Literally, Apple offers the star wars scrolling text effect with a starry background.
4. That epic music!
5. Who reads this slow…?
6. I want my own R2D2 (only character name I know).
7. This gold man looks like he’s the tin man from the Wizard of Oz! I will, from here on out, call him Tin Man until I learn his name.
8. Where are the lightsabers? I came here for the lightsabers!
9. DARTH VADER has arrived!!!!! “I AM YOU FATHER!!!”
10. God damn pop culture and social media for ruining the big plot twist!
11. Princes Leia with a gun!!! Feminism! Girl power!
12. Why are these 2 robots the most entertaining characters thus far? So much sarcasm and depth!
13. Oh, are Darth and Leia friends? They seem to know each other well.
14. Nope. Not friends. Nope. Very wrong assumption.
15. Where is Luke?! Why can’t I skip to the last movie??? Two hours to go, jeez.
16. The Tin Man is sarcastic af. We would be great friends.
17. Who are these little, brown gremlins with voices like minions? I'm convinced they're brown minions.
18. I have no clue what I am watching right now.
(This is the part where I fell asleep from noon to 5pm, and woke up to my screen paused on the creepy, brown minions)
19. OMG LUKE!! OMG HUMANS!!
20. Tell me Luke and Tin Man become BFFs!
21. Tin Man is C-3PO. Got it, okay.
22. C-3PO and R2 dynamic is amazing! So much sarcasm and sass!
23. Uncle Owen you a-hole telling Luke his father is dead! HE IS NOT!
24. Is Obi-Wan (calling him OB) and Luke’s relationship like Mr. Miyagi and Karate Kid’s? Or more like Uncle Keith and Lucas Scott?
25. Death star. The force. Stormtroopers… Too much new vocab. Is this Star Wars or the SATs?
26. “I want to learn the ways of the force and become a Jedi like my father!” Is this based off of Shakespeare or something? I feel like it could be. Definitely.
27. Is that hookah? Is this a bar? Is Luke even old enough to drink? How old is everyone anyway?
28. OB with the save during the bar fight!
29. CHEWBACCA! CHEWBACCA!
30. Java is the slimer ghost's, from Ghostbusters, brother.
31. Wait, it’s Jabba. Haha. Oops.
32. Harrison Ford could get it! Sorry Luke, I’m not into blondes.
33. Princess Leia’s buns look like toasty cinnamon buns.
34. Leia you stupid betch! You thought they were going to ask you for the rebel base location and still not attack your home planet? You are way too trusting of men!
35. Han Solo is so in control of his destiny. (F predestination, right?)
36. Luke literally has zero hand-eye coordination. But, you are right Han(dsome) Solo, it's pure luck that Luke did well that time.
37. This movie needs an intermission to nap, snack, and to comprehend all of the characters.
38. Darth feels a presence he hasn’t felt since… IT’S YOUR SON YOU FOOL.
39. Wait, so suddenly the stormtroopers are on their sid-- nope, it’s Luke and Han(dsome).
40. Luke is actually an idiot and C-3PO is the unsung hero of this film. I miss him and his snarky commentary a lot.
41. HAN YOU SUCK. YOU JUST KICKED CHEWY IN THE FACE. ANIMAL ABUSE.
42. C-3PO is the only reason why anyone is going to stay alive during these Star Wars.
43. Like I said, he is the unsung hero.
44. “One things for sure, we’re all gonna be a lot thinner!” Is that a fat joke, Han?
45. Also, Leia should literally be the face of a girl power campaign. She is fierce as hell.
46. Luke is using dental floss to swing off of this ledge. Somehow effective.
47. She kissed him on the cheek and he hundo-p had a sexual awakening!!!
48. Darth v. OB!!!! Let’s go!!!!!
49. Ugh, so anticlimactic.
50. Wait, why did OB let Darth kill him? For Luke? Elaborate George Lucas. ELABORATE.
51. “You know, sometimes I even surprise myself.” You’re pretentious af Han(dsome).
52. “If money is all you love then that is what you’ll receive.” YOU TELL HIM LEIA.
53. Everyone, even Chewy, hates Han.
54. Longest two hours of my life. Ugh.
55. Luke, how are you suddenly important enough to make such instrumental attack decisions?
56. COME ON LUKE. USE THE FORCE.
57. HAHAHA HAN YOU ROCK! You seriously rock for being in it for more than the money and yourself. Thanks for proving the audience wrong and having great looks and a great personality.
58. Leia with a different hairstyle. Girl, when did you have time to go to the salon?
59. Two hours later, C-3PO is still my favorite character. He has the most personality out of all of these droids and people and Jedis.
60. I could have maybe lived without watching this movie.
61. Now a credits screen that I could have also made on iMovie. Oh 1977, you're so ahead of your time.
(Hey. Bring it back. Now double your money and make a stack!) I’m onto the next one, onto the next one, I’m onto the next one, onto the next Star Wars movie
