“Don’t, can’t, won’t.”
“It’s not worth it, It’s a waste of time, they don’t care...You’re not enough.”
We’ve all been there, life is at its peak, you think “man my life is going great” and then you blink and you’re being consumed by the words above. Whether it’s a job, school, friendship, marriage, relationship, something always tends to go amiss when you least expect it.
There is pain behind every person, there is a story behind every face and we tend to forget that we are not alone in our troubles. The voice gets so loud we don’t realize that it is talking to thousands of other people. Think about that, thousands and thousands of people are in the same exact spot as you are. We all have a story, and we all have our pain; whether someone left, lied, or died it created a mark, it left a scar.
Our scars, sometimes we wear them proudly and sometimes we hide them. The oldest ones tend to be the ones that help create the rest. Abandonment, abuse, heartache, these stories are everywhere, they litter our lives yet they are the hardest to tell for some.
Our everyday choices, they affect these scars whether it’s your own choice or the choice of another. These scars are either healed, ripped open, or given a friend. They are present and they are our own.
Now it’s just another day, but something happened. Something that ripped open one of your scars and the pain is so real it leaves you breathless. They start again, the words “Can’t, won’t, it’s not worth it, you are not enough” repeat like a broken record in your head. It consumes you.
You’re picturing it, you’ve been there.
Now tell that voice to go straight back to hell.
Remember you are not alone, and those words that are on repeat, they’re lies. Take control of your pain, take control of your choices. When the broken record of your thoughts is playing, turn on your dancing music and make it loud. Watch your favorite movie, pick up your favorite book, sing your favorite song at the top of your lungs. Get off of the couch or out of your bed and just go, go anywhere. Find a beautiful place and make it yours, make it your reminder that the world is so much bigger than your pain. Surround yourself with love. That one friend who makes you laugh no matter what, call them. Ask for help, someone will come.
Make a choice, I know it’s hard. Make a choice to smile, laugh, and feel. In the middle of everything remember we would not know happiness or joy without pain and loss.
Kick, punch, scratch, scream, cry, fall to your knees and pray.
Find your strength, and then stand back up.
