In high school, my mom told me something about relationships that I still think about and apply today: Be careful who you date. You can fall in love with anyone. I didn’t really understand that statement until I found myself in an emotionally draining “relationship” with a guy who I probably should not have been seeing in the first place. There were countless nights when I would cry about things that had happened, or things that didn’t happen, and she would let me have my moment and then remind me of her words when I had calmed down.

I say all of that to lead into my point: I’m single, in college, and that’s not a bad thing. When everyone around you is getting ready for their date with their boyfriend, it can be discouraging because the thought inevitably crosses your mind of “is that ever going to be me?” I realized recently that, yes I want to have a relationship, but I don’t want to throw myself into the first one that comes along just to say I have one.

Don’t get me wrong, I have amazing friends who have amazing boyfriends who treat them with incredible respect and I don’t want any of them to feel weird reading this. I’m so happy that they found someone who gets them and I’m happy that they still hang out with me. I learn a lot about healthy college relationships by watching them. So shout out to them for being them.

Now, I have just about the same standards as most people do. Good hygiene, don’t be a jerk, must be funny, must be charming. Literally just google good dating standards and I’m pretty sure most of them will apply to me. Yes, I know that guys that fit those guidelines are everywhere, but there’s one more standard that puts a halt on my love life. I don’t ever want the guy I’m with to care more about me and the relationship we’re in than he does about his own relationship with God.

I want to be able to talk faith with him and pray with him and go to church with him. I want him to be open about when he feels lost and I want him to help me when I am. There’s another piece of advice my mom shared with me, and I’m not sure who originally said it, but it’s “bury your heart so deep in God that a man has to go through Him to find it.” I’ve started to take that more seriously in my own life. I’m to the point now where relationships are bigger than prom pictures and Instagram posts. I’ve tried changing someone. I’ve tried distance. I’m giving this part of my life up to God so that He can show me where to go.