"Criminal Minds" is an (amazing) TV show following the journey of an FBI behavioral unit team. As a (just slightly) addicted watcher, I can give you the exact progression of a "Criminal Minds" binge watch. I may or may not have watched about three seasons in one week, and the crazy train goes a little something like this:
Stage 1: Trepidation
Do I really want to keep watching these? Did he seriously eat her skin? Dear GOD this is based off real cases?! I need to stop watching.
Stage 2: Addiction
Oh my gosh why haven't I been watching this all my life? Like who do I marry, Derek Morgan or Spencer Reid?
(like wow but also this next one)
When someone tries to tell you that you need to slow down, you look at them like this:
Really bish? You wanna go?
And when someone tells you they don't like it, you get all:
Stage 3: Hyper-Addiction
You literally can't stop. You have things to do. You really need a shower. But CRIMINAL MINDS.
Meeting fellow addicts is like coming home, you've never had such a soul deep connection
This makes you the happiest person in the world:
And new episodes got you like:
When a character leaves or dies you cannot function like a regular human being:
And when people judge you it's like:
You do not know my life, Detective Blake was very important to me, ok?!
At the end of the day, you're in denial about your addiction, but you can't help but think the show writers are all like:
Stage 4: The Downward Spiral
You're getting paranoid. Everyone is a possible serial killer. You don't want to get in the shower while home alone because you know that can only mean bad news.
I MUST SHOWER IN HYPER SPEED
You are analyzing everyone around you, you can't help it.
Did you notice that reaction? Does that explosive anger come from your relationship with your mother?
Because you're stupid, when you hear about stories on the news you think you got it all figured out/that real life Criminal Minds people need to be all over that.
Stage 5: The End of the Road
You're finally admitting you have a problem...because you've ran out of episodes to binge watch. You're trying to be normal again. It's really hard, because like, you're part of the team ok?
But at the end of the day, Criminal Minds will always own your heart. Keep fighting team!
