Are those my snow boots in the corner of the room? Isn't it almost summer? I know my hamper is overflowing but if it was in a museum, wouldn't it be considered art? You're really gonna do this, aren't you, Tiffany?
That was my stream of consciousness after I came to after what felt like a century being buried in study sheets, last minute group projects and late nights cramming for that final I said I would start studying for 3 weeks ago. Yep. Finals are over and I feel like I can finally stretch my legs and come out from the rock I've been hiding under (sorry Fam for ignoring all of your funny texts about this weekend's plans, I promise I'll respond now!).
Except for the fact that I can't actually stretch my legs. Because there's clothes all over the floor and textbooks and shopping bags on any space that was once barren (you stress shop too, right?). After failing to climb over the mountain of clothes that used to be my neat and organized wardrobe, I decided to actually clean my room and document the process because if it wasn't documented, did I actually clean my room?
1. Clean Mode Activated
Like a bat out of hell, you start throwing everything onto the floor and start from scratch. Within a matter of 15 minutes, there's cute little piles of stuff to throw away, put away, and give away. Feeling v. saint-like as the give away pile keeps growing with stuff you bought on last week's stress-shopping spree.
2. What Have I Done?
After what feels like 12 hours, you check your phone expecting to see it's the next day only to find out you've been cleaning for about an hour. This is generally the time you start thinking of things you'd rather be doing instead of cleaning. Finishing that study sheet, continue binge-watching How To Get Away With Murder on Netflix, or the most important thing on your list--scroll through Instagram to see what people on the outside are up to. Get it together! You can do this! But wait, what's that thing sticking out of my closet?
3. Aw, How Cute!
Feeling like you've discovered an ancient artifact, you reach behind those shoes you got on sale but never wore and pull out a photo of you on a class trip when you were 10. HOW CUTE! Did you just open Pandora's Box? Nope, it's just a shoebox of random things your younger self saved throughout the years. Notes you passed to your friends in class, a participation award you got for quitting cross country after getting lost in the woods during your first meet, and the Holy Grail of it all-- a ton of awkward pictures of awkward mini-you from your awkward years. You gawk at them and send your friends snaps for the next 10 minutes before finally making the decision to...
4. Give Up
That's it. You got what you came for and you're done. Let me just look at all this stuff and remember the good times where the phrase "Show your work below" doesn't give you sweaty flashbacks to your Calc Final. But, NO! Even though you can't see the end, you're way too far into this to stop. You get some fresh air (aka get a snack and check Twitter), and dive right back into the mess you call your room.
5. The Excitement Stage
This new found energy sent you into full on clean-mode. Did you just blackout? Did you hire a cleaning crew? Is this what your room actually looks like? As you put the last few things away you discover a huge space also known as a floor, a really cute outfit you can wear to next week's party and a whole new angle to take your selfies in. You stand and admire your work, silently rejoicing.
5. Because Just When Things Are Great...
Your friends say they're outside and are waiting for you to go out. Did I make plans today? Am I STILL wearing pajamas? What do I wear? You tornado through your room trying to get ready quicker than when you're late for class and rush out of the door holding your shoes. You come home at 3 AM excited to relax in your newly cleaned room. You turn on the lights and your room is a MESS. What did I do? Why? BRB while I cry for the next 3 years or until I regain the strength and mental capacity to put myself through this trauma again.
