When we were little, we all hoped to be like Spongebob, but I think we realized that we're more like Squidward than anyone...
1. He hates mornings
2. He wallows in his single-ness
3. He expects people to change (even though they never will)
4. His need for sleep is about just as long as ours
5. His sense of humor is a little dark
6. He has insane bags under his eyes
7. He is jealous of anyone more attractive than him
8. He gets so annoyed by life that it's physically painful
9. He owns tacky clothes that he insists are awesome
10. He thinks his dance moves are super attractive
11. Like, REALLY attractive
12. He takes pride in his talents
13. He stays up late (even all night) working on something that needs to be turned in the next day
14. He hates everyone (or at least pretends to)
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