You Might Be Your Squad's 'Mom' If You Do These 10 Things

You Might Be Your Squad's 'Mom' If You Do These 10 Things

Every friend group has the designated "mom" friend, is it you?

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A "mom" of the group is typically a female in a group of friends who make sure that everyone's having fun, being safe, and not getting arrested. Here are 10 signs you may indeed be the mom of the group.

1. You help everyone get ready 

The mom of the group typically makes sure everyone is looking their best. Yes, your boots match your cardigan, no, that winged eyeliner is not working for you and put your cleavage away, it won't make your ex-take you back.

2. You make sure friends' partners know what you're capable of

The mom of a friend group is not threatened or scared by anyone who enters their friend's life. Compared to most other friends, the mom of the group will be very vocal to insert guy whom girl A is dating here, and makes sure he knows his boundaries.

3. You make sure transportation is arranged 

Many times, the mom of the group ends up being the DD after a night out, but even if she's not, she's almost certain to already have plans arranged before anyone else questions how they'll all get home that night.

4. Your contacts consist of your friends and their family 

The mom of the group not only has their friends' contacts saved in their phone, but also the family members of their friends (in case there's an emergency, or to update them when they know their ditz friend will forget).

5. You take care of others when intoxicated yourself

Even when the mom of the group is trying to enjoy herself, if one of her cubs is upset she does the consoling always, sober or not.

6. You clean and cook at your friend's house more than they do

Despite no one enjoying cooking and cleaning all the time, the mom of the group knows it needs to be done, even if it's not for them, such as the morning after a party.

7. You remind your friends to do things 

Remember to get your flu shot, you work at 3:00 today, and you're supposed to pick up your brother tomorrow but I'll just do that for you. Mom's of the group act as a walking, breathing calendar, despite having their own priorities.

8. You're the person everyone comes to for advice 

Whether it's 12 p.m. or 2 a.m., about relationships, work or school, your friends always seem to find their way to you.

9. You know how to get out of sticky situations

Being the mom of the group means you're the one who everyone turns to when there's a decision that needs to be made, and it needs to be made fast. The mom of the friend group typical is the person most able to think out situations in a timely matter.

10. You act as the strong one

If you're the backbone to the group, the one who keeps everyone going, you're the mom of the group. Though that means you feel the need to stay strong always, and not give yourself a break, even you're definitely entitled to one!

We need to give some appreciation to the mom of our friend groups, as we probably wouldn't function well without them.

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An Open Letter to the Best Friend I Didn't See Coming

Some people come into your life and change you forever—thanks, bestie.
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Dear best friend,

I wasn't expecting you when God placed you in my life. I had my friends. I had my people. I wasn't exactly open to the idea of new meaningful friendships because I had the ones I needed, and it didn't seem like I really needed anybody new.

Thank God that was false. Sometimes you meet people and you just know that you're going to be good friends with. Sometimes you meet people and you realize that there is no such thing as chance. I think God has a funny way of making it seem as if the things that happen to us are by chance, but honestly, that’s a load of crap. If the biggest moments of our lives were left up to chance, then I believe that would make God out to seem as if he didn’t care. It would make it seem as if He was truly abandoning me and making me face some of my most important seasons fully isolated. But you, best friend, are a true testament to the fact that God doesn’t just leave such important aspects up to chance. Thank you for taking a chance on our friendship, and thank you for allowing me to take a chance on what I didn’t realize would be the most impactful friendship in my entire life.

Thank you for being real with me. Thank you for not sugar coating things. Thank you for telling me when I have a bad attitude. Thank you for loving me through my mistakes. Thank you for supporting me in my decisions, even if it isn’t always the decision you would make. Thank you for wanting the best for me, and for making that your true intent behind the words that you say to me, whether they be constructive criticism or encouragement.

Thank you for being a goof with me. Thank you for putting me first. Thank you for seeing the importance of our friendship. Thank you for making time in your schedule for us to just sit and do homework, eat Mexican food, or sit on the porch and listen to music that emotionally wrecks you.

You’re one of a kind. You’re a shoulder to lean on. You’re a safe place. You’re a free spirit. You’re rough and tough, but your heart melts for the people you love and it’s obvious. You’re more than meets the eye. You are worth getting to know. You are worth loving. You pursue people. You are passionate about your future. You are everything that a person needs, and I really thank God that for some reason you continue to choose to be in my life. Thank you for literally dragging me up my mountains of fear when I want to stay exactly where I am at and wallow in the sadness. You bring joy—true joy—wherever you go. You are my best friend, confidant, and biggest fan. You will be the Maid of Honor, Godmother, and fun Aunt.

I used to think lifelong friendships weren’t really a thing. It just seemed like people always grew apart and forever was never a point that was attainable. Best friends forever is a cliché phrase that is continuously overused nowadays (sometimes, I even used to make light of it), but thanks for making that a reality. You are truly the best friend I could have asked for. So thank you for it all. You make life more fun, and I couldn’t thank God more for making an incredible human, friends with me.

I love you, pal!

JQ

Cover Image Credit: Julia Dee Qualls

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Stop Assuming Your Queer Friends Are Going To End Up Falling For You

News flash: if you're my friend, the chances of me falling for you are slim to none.

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Ever since I came out my senior year, I've encountered bumps of my friendships due to my sexuality. I think people understand gay, lesbian, and bisexual identities rather well. However, there are other members of the LGBTQ+ community that isn't as understood as well.

I identify as pansexual but start using the term queer. Essentially, I don't have a preference if someone identifies as female or male. When it comes to love and relationships, I care about the quality of the person and if I'm getting the love and respect I deserve.

However, to some of my friends, they seemed to become afraid. They distanced themselves in our friendships in fear I would end up falling for them.

News flash: if you're my friend, the chances of me falling for you are slim to none. You are my friend for a reason. If I liked you, I would honestly be too nervous to talk to you.

It's nice to know to have that kind of self-confidence where you think everyone has a crush on you. That's the attitude to have because you are a pretty great person. However, sorry to break it to you, but you just are not my type.

There is absolutely no reason to cut off a friendship just because you don't understand. Your queer friends would probably like you to ask questions. It can be a sign you care about them and showing support. There is nothing wrong with asking questions either. When you're in class and you don't know anything, then you ask a question. When you are getting to know someone, you ask questions. Even if you knew this person for a while, ask away!

I think there is a stigma of not knowing something and feeling embarrassed. However, it shouldn't be this way. We should embrace the unknown, learn, and grow from it. It's 2019. It's all about being open-minded to differences. We have to do better for the next generation.

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