1. January

Did someone say syllabus week?? Christmas Break was way too long and you are SO ready to be back with your people in an environment that values your laziness and glorifies those "bad decisions". Am I right or am I right?? One glorious week that you may or may not actually attend class. If a class has a test the next week, you dropped it five minutes ago. Besides, this semester you ARE making dean's list.

2. February

Class has been in session for a month and you have already used up your 3 allotted absences, so you spend most of your time praying that you won't come down with the flu anytime within the next 3 months. Its too cold and you forgot to pack most of your winter stuff because you don't like the outdoors anyways. You'v set the bar so low that there is only going up from here.

3. March

SPPRRANNGG BREEAAKK. You leave all of your troubles and school work behind to go skiing or to the beach. Where ever you go you have the best week of your life and more importantly, "No Ragrets." Spring break is only like a week bu the mentality lasts for like a month. This is the month where all of the Pre-Med majors switch back to the college of arts and sciences.

4.April

This is the worst month of your year. You can't stop thinking about summer and how you are going to pass all of your classes. Your body has built up a tolerance to caffeine and you drink it like water. You haven't seen your friends in a week and you've spent the rest of your money on index cards. Your spring break body has returned to it's papa johns- krispy kreme form.

5. May

One word: finals. What does the word cumulative even mean and why is it even a thing ?? You take breaks from studying to trash the mean teachers on RateMyProfessor.com. Who knew that such therapy could be free of cost?? You spend THIS much money a year to feel like THIS?? College in Europe is cheaper and running away becomes the most realistic option for you. Your 3.8 is now a 2.8 but it's okay because next semester you ARE making dean list.