Spring break is right around the corner, which means a few things. No school, maybe a nice vacation, or some old fashioned spring cleaning. Isn't that what spring is all about anyway? It's about the new beginnings after the snow melts away (metaphorically, for us Floridians).
I've been in college for a few years now. I've learned a lot about the world along the way, and I've learned even more about myself. No one should have to hang on to anything that stops them from growing as a person, be it left-over angst from high school or complete stress from the working world.
So, here are the things I've had to nix on my journey to self-fulfilling happiness. This is probably the only kind of spring cleaning you'll see me really vouch for. (I love you, Mom!)
Ultimatums don't work in real life.
The ultimatums gotta go first. Don't give them to your friends, your girlfriend / boyfriend, your family or yourself. Just throw them out. Don't convince yourself you'll be a failure if that one school doesn't pick you. Don't make your significant other quit college to be with you. Don't make your friends choose you or another friend. Because one day, without fail, your ultimatum will work the opposite way: they won't pick you.
I've put myself through it, and I've seen it happen to so many of my friends. Ultimatums always go wrong because they don't yield successful relationships. It's all about one person getting what they want and another person making the sole sacrifice. Rarely does that work out without some feelings of bitterness and resentment. It's just human nature.
Do dream big.
The first time you're going to really feel miserable is when you give up on a big dream. And it's a hard, hard road to get back to that dream. The world right now doesn't encourage big dreams, but rather practicality and a sense of the mundane. I mean, have you seen the "average life goals" Twitter account? (There is nothing wrong with wanting an average life, of course, but don't settle for one.)
One of my professors recently said something along the lines of, "Dream big because there is no other way." He's right, there isn't. Go after what you want even if it might not be the big money-maker. Go after what you want even if people will say you're a workaholic. There's always going to be someone unhappy with your choices, and you can't let that stop you.
It's no secret I'm a Disney fan, and I know a lot about dreams because of that. They have it right. "Do as dreamers do." That's they key, you have to "do." Embrace that as soon as you can and you're on your way!
You can pick your friends.
I have wasted a lot of time being friends with people I grew to not like overtime. I used to think I was shallow and a bad friend for not wanting to hang out with certain friends, but that's not true at all. What's true is that people sometimes outgrow each other. This can apply to romantic relationships, too. Be aware of how you're changing, not afraid of it. That's not to say it isn't sad when feelings change. It's an awful feeling most of the time, but that doesn't last. If you really have outgrown the relationship, you'll feel more free, like a butterfly leaving a cocoon.
Who cares if your friends are super cool and edgy if you hate every minute you're with them and their bad taste in music? Ditch 'em. This journey is all about you.
Hater-free zone.
I leave you with the wise words of Kevin Gnapoor from "Mean Girls."
There's a common theme with my wisdom: put yourself first. It sounds selfish, and that's because it is. But you have to be selfish, even if just a little bit. You're the only person who can hold yourself back, so don't be that person.
This spring break, even if you're spending it in the Keys or in another country, don't forget about you. Because if you think about it, no one actually has to live with you and your choices but you. I know I'm really drilling the point here, but seriously! Do yourself a favor and get rid of anything holding you back. No ultimatums, lots of dreaming, friends you actually like and no haters. That's the recipe!
