Ah, Spring Break. The magical week off of school when anything is possible. A trip to Florida, skiing in the mountains, some armed burglary.
What? Oh I'm sorry, are you not packing your wool ski masks and high artillery rifles? Then apparently you won't be having the extremely authentic Spring Break that Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez, and Ashley Benson brought us in 2012 with their absolutely smash hit "Spring Breakers."
Because I respect my adoring fans out there I'll be honest: I have never seen this movie. Mostly out of sheer disinterest and severe cringes whenever I see the trailer. One of the other Odyssey staff members encouraged me to watch it by saying, "The movie is so stupid, it's wonderful." And I'll concede that I've watched some pretty stupid movies in my day because they were so bad they were good (my mother would like my to cite "The Spongebob Squarepants Movie" but that is just not going to happen). However this one movie has to be one of the stupidest, most inaccurate movies ever. Obviously I know that the movie was not supposed to be an accurate representation of college Spring Break; it was much more about getting three hot women into matching neon bikinis. If it were an accurate representation of college Spring Breaks, it would have been two hours of:
But what I really don't understand is why they had to make it so ridiculous. Again, never saw it (probably never will), but from what I've seen in the trailer it seems that our main heroines are bored at school so they find guns somehow, rob a store to get money, and then go on a luxurious Spring Break where they meet the weirdo that convinces them that to have fun they need to rob MORE places with guns:
Which brings me to my first question: why, James Franco? Why did you do this to yourself? If this character (whose name is apparently 'Alien') is any bit as ridiculous as the hair, grill, and lingo, suggest then he didn't deserve you to portray him. Just please, go look in the mirror and tell your handsome self that you can do better than this. I believe in you. (Important note: Franco spoke out against "Spring Breakers 2: The Second Coming" in 2014 saying that, "it will be a terrible film.")
As far as my leading ladies go, I'm positive they wanted to do more adult, more freeing movies than they have in the past. Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens especially are known as Disney kids, so they don't get a lot of credit for the real world acting they do. I respect that that is a totally real problem that child actors have: to be taken seriously in the real world. I will support you, my leading ladies, in literally any other movie.
As much as I can complain about the movie, I will agree that they got one thing right: poorly singing my favorite 00s hits with my friends will probably be the entirety of my break.
