There’s no question about it: African-American hair is beautiful. Those stylish kinks and curls give way to an easy versatility that makes it easy to rock any hairstyle. Who could resist tresses like that?
With this in mind, it’s understandable that some people from different cultures feel amazed in the presence of black hair. And let’s just say that some of these people have an interesting way of showing their appreciation. Their reactions may be awkward, or even uncomfortable, for those of us with the aforementioned hair type. Don’t worry, though; we constantly live under the assurance that every poke and prod to our hair is only because they “think it’s so cool.”
Well, with justification like that, we all ought to spread the love! It’s definitely not fair that only black people get all this awesome hair appreciation. This sort of pampering should be showered upon all hair types. So, I challenge you—show your appreciation for someone else’s hair in these fun ways! (They’ll love it, trust me.)
1. Pull it.
Do you see someone whose hair you think is amazing? Just go up to them and yank it. (Don’t ask for their permission, either. That would ruin the surprise!) The more you love their hair, the harder you ought to tug on it. The strength of your regard for their lovely locks should be directly proportional to the strength of your pull.
Bonus opportunity: Ask them if it hurts when you pull it. Your inquiry will show that you care deeply about the condition of their pain receptors. You don’t just care about their hair, you care about their all-over well-being.
2. Stare at it.
Gawk at their hair for a very long time. Squint at it. Make it clear that you are visually analyzing and scrutinizing each strand. That way, the person underneath the hair will feel so isolated and uncomfortable that the universe will feel entirely composed of you and them. Is it hot in here, or is it just them, smoldering under the heat of your gaze?
3. Make a comparison.
We all know similes and comparisons make for great compliments. Shakespeare proved it with his “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?” line. You should give it a shot. Say something like, “Your hair looks like raw spaghetti!” Watch their self-confidence shoot through the roof! Who wouldn’t love to hear their hair be compared to some random object? It means that things in the outside world totally remind you of their hair. All you’re saying is that their hair is relatable, engaging, and transcendent.
4. Verify its authenticity.
Hair that awe-inspiring can’t possibly be real, can it? Well, ask them about it. If they say it’s their hair, then be flabbergasted. (Personally, I’m a fan of the dramatic gasp, paired with a loud “No!!!”) And if they say it’s an extension, weave, or wig, then look disapprovingly at them. Is their choice of hair accessory your personal problem? The answer is no, but your condemning look will help you express your jealousy and disappointment in the fact that you could never pull it off that well.
5. Inquire about hygiene.
We’ve already established that inquiries are correlated to how much you care. Therefore, when you see someone rocking their mane, ask them about their personal hygiene habits. Say, “Is it dirty? Can you ever wash it?” By asking these questions, you are merely inquiring into the personal habits of a hair god in the hopes that you can follow their footsteps. (Besides, it gives you an opportunity to dig around. Such perfect hair can’t possibly exist, right? Hopefully they’ll tell you that it’s dirty, so that you can feel better about the fact that their hair is not flawless after all.)
When directed toward black people, these actions may seem like racial microaggressions. But in reality, we all know that they’re merely deeply thoughtful compliments to other people’s hair. Therefore, I encourage us all to compliment each other’s hair in these ways. That white girl with blonde hair in your math class? Pull her hair to show her that you think it’s lovely. The Asian guy with a Mohawk who rides the bus with you? Show some interest in his mane and ask if it’s real. It’s not fair that African-Americans get all this hair attention. Spread the hair love.
Author's Note: While I used humor and sarcasm to present this issue in a relatable light, these problems are not anything to make light of. When I propose that all people approach everyone's hair in this manner, the actions suddenly seem absurd and bizarre. What reason would anyone have to pull another person's hair? Who would dare imply that anyone else's hair would be dirty, just because it's a different texture? As a young African-American woman, I have been subjected to all of these practices. It is almost as if society has agreed that the black body is public property, open to disconcerting levels of scrutiny and constant touching. With this article, I hoped to raise awareness of these very blatant racial microaggressions. These practices are dehumanizing, and are in no way acceptable. By doing this to other people's hair, and especially to African-American hair, you are not spreading love in any way. These actions connote racial prejudice, and I do not condone them. With this article, I hope to encourage others to think about the deeper implications of their actions towards people of different races.
