Voices echoed around the pavilion while WNHU played some of today’s top hits in the background. People rubbed their hands together to keep warm in the chilly November air. Old and new friends embraced each other, happily chatting until the crowd was hushed. Signs were passed around and a large line gathered. The walk was about to begin.
Chi Kappa Rho’s second annual S.A.S.S. Walk took place on November 12th. For those of you who do not know, the S.A.S.S. Walk stands for Sexual Assault Survivors Supporters Walk. The “SlutWalk”, which is a national movement of protest marches that calls for an end to rape culture and sexual assault, inspired the sisters of Chi Kappa Rho. Sexual assault was a cause that the sisters felt passionate about, and so the first annual S.A.S.S. Walk was held on campus. The turnout for both years thus far has been incredible.
It still amazes me, with how many advocates against sexual assault there are around the country, that it is still an issue so often pushed to the side. The Gamma Epsilon Chapter of Delta Phi Epsilon had a “Be The Change” week in which they tackled different aspects of sexual assault, and I was fortunate enough to attend their speaker night. Some of the questions she posed to us I will now ask you.
When you think of the aggressor (the person committing the sexual assault), whom do you picture? Is the person male or female? Is the person Caucasian or a person of color? When you think of the victim, whom do you picture? Is the person male or female? Is the person Caucasian or a person of color? Where do you picture the sexual assault occurring? Is the person committing sexual assault a stranger to the victim?
Generally speaking, when people think of the perpetrators of sexual assault they picture a man of color. And when people think of the victim, they picture a Caucasian woman. A common stereotype is that rape only happens in dark alleys, where the victim is attacked on the street and brought into the alley. And some people believe that the person’s aggressor is a complete stranger to them.
These stereotypes are of course, false. The CRASAC had some really useful statistics. The reality is that rape and sexual assault can happen to anyone, whatever his or her gender, class, race, ability or age, and the same goes for the perpetrators of sexual assault. 60% of women are attacked inside of a building, and for 31% (the most common place of attack) the rape occurs in their own home. And, an astonishing 90% of the most serious sexual offenses involve a perpetrator that is known by the victim.
http://www.crasac.org.uk/myths-and-stereotypes.html
I could tell you statistics until I’m blue in the face, but realistically that’s not going to do very much. You see, most people (especially college students) hear these statistics all of the time, and are generally annoyed that they have to listen to the same speech again. They think, “Well I’m not a rapist, so this doesn’t matter to me.” But, it should matter. Sexual assault is so prevalent on college campuses and the majority of the cases aren’t the stereotypical violent, random, stone-cold sober occurrences that people picture in their minds (though of course I am sure those happen as well.) It’s usually subtler than that. It could be as simple as someone encouraging another person to get intoxicated, leaving the other person completely incapacitated by the end of the night. The thing that gets me about college students is that the second someone’s story begins with “I was at a party drinking” they dismiss it to be a one-night-stand, a drunken mistake that they’ll laugh about for years to come.
Dismissing that person’s sexual assault is the biggest mistake that you’ll make in college (or ever.) You don’t know what happened. And most people think, “If you didn’t want it to happen, you could’ve fought back.” Many people are too afraid to struggle, or freeze up in the moment. Maybe they’re afraid of what their friends might think if they say no. Maybe they’re afraid of what the perpetrator might do if they work up the courage to say no. Maybe they are so intoxicated they physically do not have the ability to say no. If you are drinking, you can’t consent, and it kills me that people so easily dismiss other people’s stories because they were drinking.
So please, be kind to those around you. You can’t tell who a survivor is just by their appearance. Support each other, and fight back against sexual assault in any way that you can (even if it is just writing another long winded article about why people need to stop committing sexual assault.) If you are unsure of how to support someone after their trauma, there are so many resources out there that will counsel you on what to say/what not to say.
To those survivors out there, I leave you with this. I don’t care what you were wearing. I don’t care if you were drinking. I don’t care what your gender, age, race, or class is. I don’t care if others have told you differently. Your sexual assault is valid. Your feelings are valid. You are a strong, amazing individual and I will never stop fighting for others to realize this too.
