No one ever wants to talk about sexual assault, but it is something that we as a society need to be willing to discuss. Why are we so scared to speak about it? We talk about so many things that aren’t important, but when it comes to important issues such as race and rape, we typically are uncomfortable. Although I’m saying we should be more comfortable talking about sexual assault and rape, I wish we didn’t even have to talk about it. I wish people could understand that No Means No and you shouldn’t force yourself upon someone.
To begin, sexual assault is defined as a “crime of power and control." It also refers to "sexual contact or behavior that occurs without explicit consent of the of the victim.” A few forms are known as fondling or unwanted sexual touching, forcing a victim to perform sexual acts, such as oral, attempted rape and penetration of the victim’s body, which is known as rape. According to Rape Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), four out of five rapes are committed by non-stranger. It’s sad to also know that 47 percent are known as either a friend or acquaintance. How does this keep happening? It’s happening closer and closer to home and behind closed doors. Although the rate has fallen since the 1993 statistic of 9.7 million Americans to about 4.2 million, that is still too high.
Victims of Sexual Assault and Rape will experience:
3 times more likely to suffer from depression.
6 times more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.
13 times more likely to abuse alcohol.
26 times more likely to abuse drugs.
4 times more likely to contemplate suicide.
No one knows what it feels like until it happens to you, and hopefully it never does.
Rape and assault are not jokes. Stop saying “that exam raped me.” We get it, the exam was hard, but you can’t compare that to actual rape. It’s not a joke and it shouldn’t be used as one. Rape is not something that you laugh about, it’s not a game. Rape isn’t supposed to be used to define anything else but sexual violence. I know most people who use it don’t have bad intentions, especially since I was someone who used to use it as a joke as well. I’m not here to shame people, I’m here to help educate others. The misuse of this word typically comes from ignorance. We as a nation we need to move forward and stop using this word lightly.
We constantly hear "she was asking for it," or "she was in tight clothing and flirting," as an argument for sexual assault and how it was "acceptable" since the person "wanted it." No matter what a person is wearing, no one should touch them unless they clearly consented to it. No one asks to be assaulted. It’s one of the most traumatic events a person can go through. Whether it is an unwanted pregnancy, STI, or the emotional toll, the effects can last a lifetime. Some of you may know who Amber Rose is, but some of you may not. She is a model, fashion designer and actress, she is also known for being rapper Wiz Khalifa’s ex-wife and mother of his child. Amber Rose has been focusing a lot on rape culture and had recently done an interview with Reverend Run and Tyrese talking about consent. Rose said in an interview that “If I’m laying down with a man butt-naked and his condom is on and I say ‘You know what? No. I don’t want to do this. I changed my mind.’ That means no. That means f—k no. It doesn’t matter how far I take it or what I have on, when I say no, it means no.” I personally agree with her on this statement. I understand that it could be a bit of a tease that someone would go as far to almost having sex with someone, but if they realize they don’t want to do it or even if you were doing it and then they don’t want it anymore, you HAVE to respect it. A girls’ clothing is not and should not ever be responsible for boys’ behavior.
On college campuses, there is very little talk about sexual assault. The only time I hear about it is when there was a “rare” attack on campus and they send out a school wide text message alerting us to be on a look out for the assailant. College campuses are one of the most common places for a sexual assault to happen. According to The White House Task Force to Protect Students from Sexual Assault (2014) noted that one in five college students experience sexual assault during their college career. The Not Alone project, which is backed by President Obama and Vice President Biden, helps to break the silence about sexual violence on campuses and reach out to provide victims with the support they need. Their aim is to increase awareness about assaults and abusive partner relationships as well. According to RAINN, women 18-24 who are enrolled in college are 3 times more likely than women in general to suffer from sexual violence. Females of the same age who are not enrolled in college are four times more likely while male college aged students are 78% more likely than non-students to be a victim of rape or sexual assault
When will this stop? Colleges need to do a better job about being open to educate students on sexual assault. We can’t continue to act like our campuses don’t have these issues. If we continue to act like it doesn’t happen, then when it does happen people aren’t going to be comfortable with stepping forward. We can’t only talk about sexual assault when April rolls around for Sexual Assault Awareness month.
We need to do a better job at teaching “don’t rape,” rather than “don’t get raped.” But reality is, it’s still going to happen because some people don’t learn. There are ways to help prevent yourself from becoming a target. Many students go out and party, especially when the weekend hits. You need to know your alcohol limits. Over half of sexual assaults on college campuses involve alcohol, according to researchers at Wayne State University. It makes you an easier and more vulnerable target when you are unable to take care of yourself. You should travel in groups. Make sure everyone returns home safely and look out for each other. When looking out for each other, it also means helping watch your drinks. Don’t let your friends leave their drinks unattended as well as watching their own drinks.
We as a community need to become more aware that sexual assaults do happen on campuses. We can’t continue to act like it doesn’t happen and that our campuses are perfect, because they aren’t. It happens and it will continue to happen unless we teach each other what’s wrong. We need to stop teaching people, especially females, that if you don’t dress a certain way or act a certain way, these things won’t happen to you. It could happen to any one of us and we don’t want that to happen. People need to understand that no one asks to be assaulted and that certain people need to know that no one owes them anything. Start a conversation on your college campus, get involved and start another movement. Be a friend to someone who has been assaulted and help them realize that none of it is their fault. Do not be afraid to report a sexual assault and seek out support and counseling from your campus resources. If we come together as a community and start to make a difference, it will become a norm. It’s on us to take a pledge to help change the way we view sexual assault. It could eventually save someone’s life. Visit www.itsonus.org to take your pledge now. I did it, will you?
If you have ever experience sexual assault, visit www.notalone.gov for resources as well as your school support resources. We stand with you. You are not alone.
