For some people, the idea of confrontation is scarier than a bad perm on a humid day. We would much rather hide and wait for tension to pass than address the issues we face. While sometimes it really is better to just let things go and not harbor hard feelings, a lot of times, not speaking your mind can get you into sticky situations in the long run.

Let’s talk about friends. We love them, right? But sometimes they say or do things that grind our gears in the wrong direction. And the same goes for family. The first time, we let it go. The second and third time, we let it go. But by the fifth time, we’re starting to get twitchy. They’ll begin to notice we’re pushing them away, or no longer spending time with them, and for no apparent reason, because we’ve been smiling and laughing and pretending that everything is downright peachy. What they don’t know is that it’s not because we’ve come to the realization all of a sudden that we don’t like them after all -- they don’t even realize what they’re saying is pushing our already loosely threaded button -- but because we can’t express to them how we’re feeling. Even though we are supposed to be most comfortable expressing ourselves to the people we love, it still is much easier said than done, no matter how long or well you know someone.

So, other than the awkward twitch, why is this a problem?

We begin to resent the people we love most, not because their wrong-doings are unforgivable -- they’re only human. It’s because we can’t express how we feel, and we project the ensuing frustration onto them, because that’s the easiest place to put it. From resentment, things spiral out of control, and relationships waste away to points beyond repair. While that may seem a dramatic worst-case scenario, it could happen, and quickly at that.

Justifying this emotional immaturity, and I apologize for my frankness, but let’s be honest with each other by saying we are non-confrontational — lovers, not fighters —is a sad excuse for being a scaredy cat. And of this, I am 100 percent guilty. Captain of the Scaredy Crew, mayor of Scaredy City. But here is what I have learned from the people I love dearly, who were kind enough to bring to my attention things I have said or done that I am not proud of, shining a light not my less-than-glorious moments for me to see.

Knowing what you’ve done wrong, though it may sting at first, and working to remedy this is a place that is a thousand times more pleasant to be in than in the dark, worrying and wondering where you went wrong (because at a certain point, you can tell something just isn’t right). So be fair to your friends or family, and don’t put them in that latter, less-than-comfortable place.

Most importantly, though, the beauty of making your thoughts known can make a relationship any type, ladies and gents, better than it was to begin with. Because that is what two people who love each other do. They make each other better. If we can all learn to speak up when someone is wrong, and apologize and be better when we ourselves are wrong, then we won’t ever need those security tortillas again.

I’ll say again, it’s much easier said than done. But now at least you have a reason to try.