Spider-Man Is A Moron | The Odyssey Online
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Spider-Man Is A Moron

The Not So Spectacular Spider-Man

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Spider-Man Is A Moron
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Peter Parker, a.k.a. Spider-Man, is a character a lot of us grew up with before superhero movies were even a big thing. Whether it was the 90s cartoon or the Sam Raimi films, everyone knew who Spider-Man was. After re-watching the original films, however, I noticed that Peter Parker can be kinda dumb and a little over-the-top.

So right off the bat, we know that Peter is a science prodigy. He understands science really well and made a lot of really high-tech inventions such as his web shooters. But, he doesn't take up a career in science; he is instead, a photographer. OK, I get that photography might be his thing or some kind of passion that he has, but taking pictures isn't going to help you make a lot of money. Sure, Peter is still in college in the films, presumably for some sort of science degree, but he always misses classes due to his superhero duties and takes his sweet time finishing courses. Do you want to live in a crappy apartment forever? This leads me to me next point.

Peter is always bitching about having to be Spider-Man, keeping up with his classes, and taking pictures of Spider-Man. OK, fine, that can be a little hectic being a superhero and all, but literally no other superhero has that problem. Thor has to look after Asgard and Earth. Iron Man runs his own company, is a Playboy icon, and also has to work on new science experiments. Even Daredevil has to stress over being a vigilante and a lawyer all while being blind. So you might say that Peter is stressing because he is in his early twenties, but as college students we're all managing busy schedules too. Some of us are doing sports, participating in events, or have to run Greek life events, but even we don't complain as much and we still get our work done. Hey, Spidey, calm yourself -- you are not the only one.

Getting more into Peter's stupid behavior, I noticed that he is always taking his mask off in the movies. Why are you doing that? If you want to keep your identity safe, then stop taking your damn mask off every second. By the end of the third movie, pretty much every important character in Peter's life knows that he is Spider-Man. Good job, idiot.

I also find him to be really emo, and I'm not even talking about when he has the Venom Symbiote in the third movie. I'm talking about in general. When the opening crawl for "Spider-Man" ends, Peter starts narrating about who he is and mentions that, "the story of my life is not for the faint of heart." Alright, dude. Relax, you're Spider-Man, you're in a Spider-Man movie; this isn't a Greek tragedy. He continues to keep this over the top attitude up with lines such as, "No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, the ones I love will always be the ones who pay," and "I'm Spider-Man no more." Geez, you're worse than a 13-year-old girl. Suck it up, man.

Perhaps one of the worst things about the Raimi "Spider-Man" movies, and even in "Spider-Man" comics in general is Peter's obsession with Mary Jane. I can't tell you how many times he has been ignored or shot down by her in the comics, yet he still pines over her. Let it go -- she's not into you. In the first movie. and throughout the movie trilogy, Peter is constantly trying to get with Mary Jane, yet there is someone who is clearly interested in him that he is completely ignoring: Betty Brant! Betty Brant is always flirting with Peter in the movies and even encourages him at his low points, but dummy never pays attention to her. You're telling me that Peter doesn't find Betty, played by Elizabeth Banks, more attractive than Mary Jane. who is played by Kirsten Dunst. Get out of here! They're both pretty actresses, but c'mon Elizabeth Banks is prettier and has a good personality -- how can you ignore her?

Maybe my problems with Spider-Man lie with the movies more than the comics, but you have to admit Peter Parker can be pretty stupid. Without a doubt, Spider-Man still resonates with people more than a lot of other superheroes and is very relatable, but maybe he is a little too relatable with his inconsistencies and his mopey, whiney behavior that a lot of teens and young adults in particular have.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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