A few days ago, while I was presenting a project to my boss at my internship, she stopped me to give one piece of crucial feedback. “If you don’t speak with confidence,” she said, “I will start to believe you don’t know what you’re talking about.” That’s when I realized: the hours I had put into research, meticulously putting together a slide show and rehearsing what I was going to say in my head were all for nothing if I didn’t sound confident.
As essential as it was to have a detailed presentation full of facts, the way the information was communicated was equally important. Why would someone believe what I was saying if it didn’t seem like I did?
I have always had trouble speaking my mind, especially since I often overthink before I speak. A part of me is so scared of voicing my opinions and being wrong that I opt to keep quiet and let others talk instead. Because of this, in times when I would speak up, my comments would come across as sheepish and uncertain, even if I was completely right.
After the conversation I had with my boss at work, I finally had a long overdue wakeup call about the way I was coming across. In a world where everyone is trying to make themselves stand out and make an impression, if you aren’t loud enough, you won’t be heard at all.
While I was quietly mumbling my opinions and second-guessing myself, the people I was talking to could probably sense my lack of confidence, completely changing their view of not only who I was, but what I was saying. Instead of mumbling “I think this could be the answer…” I should have spoken louder, with more assertion, and proclaimed that this was definitely the answer.
Who knows? Maybe it wouldn’t matter if I was wrong or right. They might have believed me anyway.
In order to get past my previous worries about speaking up, I’ve started to repeatedly reassure myself that it is far more beneficial to be loud and incorrect than silent when it comes to getting what you want. If you’re like me and struggle with sounding like you’ve got it all figured out, remember that it takes practice. Sit up straight, speak clearly, and don’t apologize for any mistakes you make while speaking. Remind yourself that no one else is picking apart every word that comes out of your mouth. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want and explain why you deserve it.
I’ve been trying to take my own advice for a while now, and though it may not be easy to break out of the insecurities I’ve had for years, I know it’ll be worth it.
In the future, the next time I raise my hand in class, engage in a debate with a group of friends or when I get the chance to present to my boss again, I hope I reach a point where I won’t have to second guess myself anymore. I know what I’m talking about, I just have to convince everyone else I do.
