25 Times You've Had Absolutely No Clue What These Southern Phrases Meant

25 Times You've Had Absolutely No Clue What These Southern Phrases Meant

Our language, explained.

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If you grew up in the south, you have probably heard at least one (or maybe all) of these phrases. It just wouldn't be life without our southern-isms. I'm almost positive that anybody who reads this article has used at least one of these. There's no need to be ashamed. It's just a part of being from the south.

1. Cotton pickin'

A nicer term for the "D" word. Ex: Husband: "I think I may go buy a new truck!" Wife: "Have you lost your cotton pickin' mind?"

2. John Brown

Used when something is a surprise. Ex: "She got the job!" "Well, I'll be John Brown."

3. Two cents

An unwanted opinion. Ex: "We could've lived without her two cents."

4. Turd floater

A very heavy rain. Ex: "It's gonna be coming a turd floater tonight."

5. Hill of beans

Used to describe something of no value. Ex: "He don't amount to a hill of beans."

6. Cattywampus

Not lined up evenly on both sides. Ex: "That mirror is cattywampus."

7. As all get out

To the uttermost degree. Ex: "Once she makes up her mind, she will be stubborn as all get out."

8. Sugar

A way to say kiss or lovin'. Ex: "Go give your grandma some sugar."

9. A lick of sense

No common sense. Ex: "That boy ain't got a lick of sense."

10. Ugly

A way to say bad. Ex: "Y'all need to stop being ugly."

11. Plumb

Another way to say absolutely. Ex: "Now that was just plumb stupid."

12. Highfalutin'

Another way to say fancy. Ex: "Look at those highfalutin' people over there."

13. Lose my religion

Used when someone loses their temper. Ex: "You're about to make me lose my religion."

14. Floats your boat

A way to say makes you happy. Ex: "Do whatever floats your boat."

15. Doohickey

Used when you can't think of the name of an object. Ex: "Pass me that doohickey over there."

16. Preaching to the choir

Presenting an argument that people agree with. Ex: "Honey, you're preaching to the choir."

17. Conniption

A fit of rage. Ex: "Yall watch out! She's about to have a conniption fit!"

18. High cotton

Used when your possessions are more expensive than your social status. Ex: "Did you see him diving that Corvette?" "Yeah, he's choppin' high cotton."

19. Not my first rodeo

Used to show someone is not naive or inexperienced. Ex: "Listen sweetheart, this isn't my first rodeo."

20. Lord have mercy

Used in disbelief. Ex: "So and so is pregnant again!" "Lord have mercy."

21. Just in the nick of time

Just in time. Ex. "She got here just in the nick of time."

22. Bury the hatchet

To settle differences. Ex: "I'm tired of fighting. Let's just bury the hatchet."

23. Butter up

A term used when flattering someone. Ex: "Are you just trying to butter up the boss so you can get a promotion?"

24. Chunk

Another way to say throw. Ex: "Chuck that food over the fence."

25. Fiddlefart

A way to say lingering around. Ex: Yall quit fiddlefarting around and come on!"

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13 Summer Struggles Only Thick Girls Understand

Chafing. So much chafing.

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Summer is a lovely time. A time of cookouts, swimming, and sunny weather. But if you're a " thick girl," summer sometimes brings more unpleasantries than it does for slimmer women. No matter how beautiful and confident you are in your body, it can bring some struggles.

1. The living hell that is shorts-shopping

Step 1: Find the biggest size the store has.

Step 2: (If you can even get those on): Realize your stomach is being squeezed into the top, your butt is falling out of the back and your thighs are having the life squished out of them.

Step 3: Realize why winter isn't so bad.

2. And dealing with them even after finding a pair that "fits"

Nothing like taking a pair of shorts home you remember fitting you okay in the store and then walking for 45 seconds and pulling them out of your butt or crotch 17 times. Truly a magical experience.

3. And every bathing suit you try on shows more skin than you'd planned

Even the most conservative bathing suit turns into cleavage-city and a non-cheeky set of bottoms turns into a thong. I promise, older people glaring at me in my sexual bathing suit, I didn't mean for this to happen!

4. Chafing. So much chafing.

No better feeling than four minutes into wearing short shorts realizing that your inner thighs are literally tearing themselves apart. Body Glide and baby powder are a thick girl's No. 1 necessity.

5. Loving rompers. Rompers not loving you.

Rompers are made with short and skinny girls in mind. Heaven forbid you're not short, and heaven forbid you're not skinny. Rompers are like a mystical article of clothing that, no matter what, always just barely doesn't fit.

6. Imagining wearing a sundress with a strapless bra and just laughing

Of course, not all thick girls are well-endowed in the boob department, but if you are, you understand how hilarious the thought of you wearing a strapless bra truly is.

7. And bralettes are a thing of fantasy

Once again, bralettes are designed for a very specific body type. One that I do not fall into.

8. Feeling like you need to constantly defend yourself for dressing like you want to

There are so many posts and tweets and just general ideals that people have that certain sized women can't wear certain clothing. You shouldn't feel the need to defend yourself for wearing a cute crop top or a bikini, but you will.

9. And always feeling looked at when you're rocking your swimsuit

Yes, I see your judging eyes, and yes, they are making me feel like shit. It doesn't matter how confident you are in your body, people looking at you like you just killed somebody just because you're wearing something typically made for smaller women doesn't make you feel good.

10. Did I mention chafing?

I just felt like something so horrible couldn't just be mentioned once.

11. Online shopping for cute summer outfits and then none of them fitting you correctly

There's always the dreaded "one-size-fits-all" for plus-size women. As if there's just one way to be plus-size. No matter how much they promise online that it'll fit well, it won't.

12. Seeing tiny girls complaining about losing their "summer bodies"

So many tweets talking about choosing food over a summer body. So many profile pictures of traditionally skinny women. I'm not saying that thick girls are the only ones who can complain about their summer bodies, and thick girls do not have a monopoly one not feeling confident in their bodies. But it is hard to see those posts knowing that those women would be glorified in their swimwear while you'd be gawked at.

13. The "you go girl!" comments on your oh-so-brave bikini photos

Compliments are nice, and positive comments while wearing a bikini go a long way. But the dreaded "you go girl" comment just seems so condescending. Just treat me like anyone else you'd see wearing a bikini. I promise, I'd like to feel like that.

Cover Image Credit: Sara Petty

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Your Boat's Captain Deserves A 20% Tip, Just Like Your Server Or Barber

A tip about tipping people who serve you.

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I date a man whose talented, smart, and very good at what he does. He's a captain and runs his own business. He goes to college full time, five classes every semester, and runs his business on the weekends.

After being with him for almost a year I've gotten a good look at how much work he puts into his trips. He'll come home to me explaining all about his trip and I think my favorite part is watching the joy surface his eyes when he mentions his customers were happy. He values customer satisfaction and I wish his customers could see how much he values it, even after the trip is over. He'll walk through the door, smelling like a dead fish, and looking like he got ran over by a train. He'll get home and I'll push him to the shower after I hold my breath to kiss him.

Sometimes he helps his friend's business out and runs his charters for him for a couple of days. The other day I listened to him explain one of his trips to me and I couldn't help but feel anger. He took this group out and they caught a great amount of fish and he took extra time to filleted them for his customers. After he was finished, he collected the money for his friend and received a tip. This tip wasn't close to 20% of the total amount for the trip, instead, it was around 11%.

I am a waitress and I think we all know common courtesy of the 15%-20% tip at a restaurant. So when I heard this 11% tip was given to my boyfriend I felt hurt for him.

I wish that customer could see how much this man works and loves what he does. He cares about his customers and when his customers aren't happy, it follows him home. Being a captain isn't just a job to him, it's his everything. Making people happy, makes him happy. He deserved more than what that customer valued him as and he worked harder than the value of that tip.

This can pertain to tipping in general, but when you're tipping your captain, waitress, hairstylist, or even valet driver, realize that they live off of those tips. They served you, sweated for you, and created satisfaction for you. Tip people appropriate because serving someone isn't easy, it's exhausting but we do it because we want you to be happy when you walk away.

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