The people of the North and South always seem to be at each other’s throats when it comes to just about anything. Oatmeal or Grits? Hot Tea or Sweet Tea? Soda or Pop? Football or Hockey? They’re all age-old debates that people will never seem to agree on. So naturally when it comes to partying, both the North and the South believe that they are the better drinkers. But just what defines a good drinker and who actually has the right to claim that they are the best? We called the experts who broke down the title of a "good drinker" into four, highly scientific categories that will help us determine whether the North or the South can claim the title of Best Drinkers.
1. Tolerance
As we all know, in order to build up a
tolerance to alcohol and not get tipsy after the first shot of Fireball you
have to slowly work your way up. Contrary to popular belief, tolerance isn’t
built up over the course of a few years. Actually tolerance is built up through
generations of hard work, dedication, and perseverance. The Northerners will
tell you that the reason they stopped at Plymouth Rock in the first place is
because they ran out of the only thing they had on board to drink at the time,
beer. Granted, Northerners HAVE been drinking since even before the Southern
States were founded. That’s some true dedication. However, Southerners have a
long history of drinking that includes things much more potent than beer. Only
the weak drink beer. In the South our ancestors drank moonshine. Not only did Southerners
basically perfect the art of making moonshine, we also have been drinking it
like champs ever since. However, because
the Northerners pretty much invented the term "booze cruise" on their voyage to
Plymouth, we’re going to have to give it to them.
Winner: Northerners +1
2. Drinks of Choice
Northerners have the reputation of the "classy" drinkers. They enjoy their craft beers, upscale martini/wine bars and spiked
organic cider. This is not to say that ALL Northerners drink with their pinky
in the air, but it's a common stereotype that they embrace wholeheartedly. Southerners on the other hand are "realist" drinkers. The term realist stemming from the fact that they are REALLY going
drink just about anything. Smirnoff Ice? Why not. Kentucky Gentlemen? Yes
please. Southerners know the true meaning of the phrase "Waste not, want not." We respect Southerners because they know that there are sober kids in other
countries, and for that; we salute their philanthropic efforts.
Winner: Southerners +1
3. Best Places To Drink
This category is
tough because both the North and the South have some great drinking spots. The
North has it all. It’s known for its quaint pub-like neighborhood bars nestled
in the suburbs, and cool speakeasies, upscale posh lounges and Sake Bars in
the heart of some of the bigger cities. While in the South we have waterfront tiki
bars, western pubs and TAILGATES. Yes the South is Tailgate country. It’s difficult
to tailgate in 40 degree weather, but in the warmer fall climate of the south,
tailgating is a tradition. On any given Sunday or Saturday during football
season, stadium parking lots across the South will be full of sundresses,
cowboy boots and khakis. Tailgaters will be grilling out, shot-gunning beers,
and engaging in general debauchery. The Northern tailgates have absolutely
nothing on Southern tailgates and because of that, the South wins it.
Winner: Southerners +1
4. Consumption
So who actually drinks more? If you
guessed the South you would be incorrect. The Northerners actually take the
cake when it comes to consumption of alcohol. North Dakota and New Hampshire are year after
year the highest consumers of beer per capita than anywhere in the United
States. Because what else is there to do in North Dakota? If you include the
state of California, the South has the highest consumption of wine… but only
barely. It seems like the North are out-drinking the Southerners under the
table, and because of that they win this category.
Winner: Northerners +1
After our team of scientists calculated the results, it seems as if there is a tie between the North and the South when it comes to the title of "Best Drinkers." The South gained major points with their professional tailgating skills, while the North came back with the highest consumption per capita. It looks like this is just going to be another one of those famous North/South arguments that will be debated for years to come. So whether you live in the North, or the South, raise your glasses up to good drinks, good times and great memories. Cheers.
