How many times while you were growing up were you told that one day you would find your soulmate? How often did people say to you that you would find someone who was a perfect match for you? How many days have you spent imagining the one person in the entire world that would understand you, love you, and complete you? The idea of a soulmate is so deeply embedded into our minds that sometimes we think that such a love will just be handed to us one day when the time is right. Sorry to break it to you, but the idea that you have reinforced time and time again is wrong. There is no such thing as a soulmate, or a perfect match. There is no compatibility in this world between two people that is anywhere near perfect. Relationships are a job, and the right one will not just fall into your lap.

A soulmate is defined as “a person who is perfectly suited for another.” Many people claim that soulmates are connected through destiny and will always find their way to each other. It’s time for a news flash. There are over seven billion people in this entire world, and not one of them is made specifically for you. No one will have all of the attributes that you expect them to have, and absolutely no one will be compatible to you in every aspect. Such compatibility exists only in fairy tales, but in real life, relationships exist between people who are relatively similar, at most. If their likes and dislikes are the same, their mannerisms most likely are not. There will always be something or another that sets them apart; their ideas, beliefs, religions, or maybe their goals. A relationship is not made successful by matching each other in every single way; rather, it is the effort and hard work that is put into it that makes it strong.

You and your partner do not need to agree on everything, but you do need to respect each other’s opinions. If they are ignorant on a topic, do not belittle them; teach them. Treat them with respect despite your differences, and utilize your time to find ways around those differences. Choose to compromise or advocate for yourself when needed. Give their interests a chance, and try to see things from their perspective. You will never be able to take your partner and mold them into the exact shape you want, no matter how hard you try. Instead, you will have to accept their shortcomings, embrace their faults, and acknowledge your own.

You expect that years after being alone, a day will come when you will come across someone who makes sparks fly and makes everything seem right in the world, but that is an unrealistic expectation to place on another person; all you can ask is that they respect you and honor you, and take your needs into consideration when making decisions. If you have that, then your relationship is already stronger than one between soulmates. Keep working on building your relationship, and appreciate the beauty of it every now and then.