Death isn't something many 20-year-olds think about on daily basis. Many young adults focus on other aspects of life such as their education or social surroundings. But, death changes everything.

Losing a grandparent changes anyone's life. For some, it's a an extreme shift in their lives, while others knew the time was coming. Regardless, losing a grandparent is tragic.

I have never dealt with a close relative passing in front of my very eyes. It is something I never want to be faced with, but I know death is a part of life. I lost my Papi one month ago. He lost his battle to prostate cancer.

I still haven't come to terms that he is no longer with me. I still haven't come to terms that I will no longer be able to hear his soft voice. I still haven't come to terms that I will never be able to hug him and smell his cologne.

My Papi was a fighter. Although it's a miracle that he lasted this long, I never wanted to see him go. Cancer is something that should never be wished upon anyone. It's a battle that often ends in death and heartbreak. Although God chose my Papi to be the one to fight it, I couldn't think of anyone stronger. He chose him knowing that he was courageous and driven enough to face anything that came his way.

My Papi was a brilliant man who overcame a lot of obstacles. He didn’t deserve cancer. Cancer didn’t define him. He was one of the kindest and sweetest souls to walk this earth. Whenever anyone came to visit, his eyes immediately lit up with joy. He had great pride in his family; he was a family man. He was such a sweet, compassionate,, and lovable man. He had to fight such a difficult battle, but never once complained. He fought so bravely to the end, and I will always admire that.

I will miss playing Dominos with him for hours, even though he won every single game. I will miss watching the same Spanish westerns with him just to see his eyes light up with joy. Every movie seemed the same to me, but seeing how the cowboys made him scream in joy, made me realize how beautiful the simple things in life were. I will miss his smile whenever a loved one came to visit. All he ever wanted was his family to love one another and spend as much time together as possible.

Seeing him the day he passed was the hardest thing that has ever crossed my eyes. Seeing My Papi lay motionless in his hospice bed is a vision I hope no one has to see in their lifetime. Seeing his lifeless body in his silver casket and watching my Grandmom fall to the floor is a memory I wish I could erase. Thinking about how I touched his yellow and cold skin brings me to tears. I couldn't and still can't comprehend how someone so sweet and pure could be taken away with something as painful and difficult as cancer.

I hate that I wasn't there when he passed. It kills me to this day knowing that while I was out eating dinner, he made his way to heaven. I hate that I couldn't see him one last time. I hate that I will never hear him say the words "I love you mama" ever again. My heart aches hearing his voice in my head, but knowing that I can never see him speak those words again.

This is a pain I never thought could exist. This is a pain I don't want to feel, but I didn't truly know what grieving meant until now. So for those who have felt this type of pain before or are currently going through it, know this:

Family is the most important thing. Friends come and go. Family does not. Make your family proud and live your life to its fullest. Embrace every moment you have with your loved ones because you never know when it will be your last. Life isn't guaranteed; it's a gift.

Papi, I want you to know this:

You were and still are the strongest man I know. You are a soul never forgotten and forever cherished. Rest easy in heaven and watch over Grandmom. I'll see you soon sweet angel.