As Sorority Recruitment has come to an end at my undergraduate institution, and a couple weeks following it ending here on Fort Hays State University’s campus; I’m brought back to one of the most influential nights of my life.

It was in the spring of 2011, I, along with four others, had been nominated for Theta Phi Guy (Theta Phi Alpha – Alpha Mu Chapter’s sweetheart) and was anxiously awaiting the winner to be called. I honestly had never thought I was worthy enough to bear the right to be called a Theta Phi Guy; I helped the chapter when I could, I made great friendships with several of the members, but there was always someone better to hold the lofty position of sweetheart. Incidentally, I was wrong; the women of Alpha Mu called my name and I honestly cried, luckily Cotton Eye Joe had been played just before it so it just seemed like a lot of sweat was running down my face. I cried and I was happy to have been one of the men who were lucky enough to be given the honor of being their sweetheart, given the opportunity to build stronger relationships and given the ability to learn more about myself.

For those of you who do not understand sweetheart culture, I’ll use the criteria that my Sigma Phi Epsilon chapter uses when voting upon someone we wish to call our sweetheart. It is a person of good moral standing who embodies the Ritual that we participate in without ever knowing, nor ever will learn our secrets. They’re a person who takes our cardinal values of virtue, diligence and brotherly love to a level that is on par with our members. I assume chapters all do this differently, but in my heart I like to believe that such was the criteria for me to win. I proudly, even to this day, will wear my Theta Phi Alpha letters when representing the women who had stolen my heart.

Everything, I think, has a meaning and a purpose in our lives; we may never see the big picture but I know that things happen, or don’t happen as we want, for a reason. These opportunities are never completely something we can understand, and as I took to being a sweetheart I don’t think I knew how much I would be changed by this honor.

I started off by being dutiful in any way I could; I supported Theta Phi’s events by showing up and inviting friends, I would show up with the women of the chapter for formal recruitment in the fall, I would ensure they were well fed with cookies or candy or popcorn, I would be their champion when they could not defend themselves and most importantly, I gave my heart to them when it wasn’t dedicated to my own chapter.

I think I may have gone overboard, to be quite honest, as I am still a standard that members who joined years after I have graduated have for their sweethearts. I learned the information that is asked of all new members and held weekly study sessions to ensure the young women were prepared; I learned how to craft balloon arches and got terrified to helium containers which, if you didn’t know, can explode if they are jostled too much and I participated in annual scholarship fundraising. I became part of an organization that had nominated and given me the honor of wearing their letters, joining the bonds of their sisterhood, and becoming a penguin for the entirety of my life.

I dedicate a lot of my development to my undergraduate years; I served in countless leadership roles (both elected and not), I created philanthropies that are enduring to this day, I started two organizations that are still persisting and I lost myself in a sea of women who are closer to my than many of my own family members.

I am, and forever will be, affected by the women of Theta Phi Alpha; I will strive to create close comradeship, to advance educational, social, and philanthropic interests and leadership training; to encourage spiritual development and adherence to the highest moral standards; and to promote lifelong bonds of friendship. I will be Ever Loyal, Ever Lasting. I will carry around the white rose and sapphire, and as the wonderful patron saint of Theta Phi Alpha is known to say, “Nothing great is ever achieved without much enduring”

YITBOS & LWIM<3CWIM,

Theta Phi Guy aka Sister Alex