Last week I went through the exhausting process of rushing a sorority and signed a bid for Zeta Tau Alpha. But the more I reflect on my experience last week with Panhellenic formal recruitment, the more I start to notice the flaws in the process. I want to preface all of this by saying that I am very happy with the chapter I ended up in. The girls have been so welcoming and I connect with all of them so well. But when I first received my bid, I wasn't sure that I would.

I was worried. I was worried because I had no idea what the girls in any of the sororities were really like. What we see during formal recruitment are refined, picture-perfect versions of the sororities. Every surface of the house is spotless, every girl looks their absolute best, and every conversation is censored. I was really on the fence about rushing to begin with because I always felt like sororities had a sort of phoniness to them. And after the first long day of open house rounds, I felt as though my suspicions had been confirmed. Not only did the sororities have a facade, but I myself was being fake. I don't mean that I was being fake in the sense that I wasn't being truthful, but more in the sense that I felt like I had to try too hard to impress the girls. Having a forced conversation with someone you've never met is harder than it seems, especially when you've been told to censor what you talk about. I actually have a few friends who told me that they literally started making things up in order to keep the conversation going and make connections with what the sisters were talking about. Before the first round, a Rho Gamma (recruitment guide) even told us, "Just make sure you keep the conversation going, even if you need to start making things up!" Does the Panhellenic Council not see the flaw in these forced, fake conversations?

Both the sororities and the girls going through rush are told not to talk about the five B's: boys, booze, bible, ballot, and bids. It's understandable that we're not allowed to talk about bids, but views on boys, alcohol, religion, and politics can play a large role in how one fits in with their sorority and reveal a lot about how the sororities actually act. Everyone knows that alcohol and partying are a huge part of Greek Life, and yet the topic is avoided like the plague during recruitment. The houses give you no insight into the role alcohol plays in their chapter. One who doesn't like to party often could sign a bid for a sorority that requires them to go to x number of parties a week, and end up being miserable.

Even as the rounds went on, I didn't really learn much more about the sororities. I learned about their philanthropies and saw what their houses looked like, but besides that I just talked to and met more sisters. Don't get me wrong -- even though they were forced and censored, I still had some really good, enjoyable conversations. But I found it unfair that they kept us in the dark on the expectations that come with being in the sororities and the social commitment/general time commitment of each chapter. I'm lucky to have ended up in a sorority that has a lot of members who are very involved around campus, and is supportive and understanding of my conflicting activities. But I have friends who ended up in sororities that aren't as lenient.

I guess I just don't understand why sororities have to have such a formal recruitment process. It would likely be less stressful for everyone involved if it was done in a more informal way, like how fraternity rush works. Potential new members and sororities would get a much more real and authentic feel for each other if rush was done in a more casual way. We can't really connect with a sorority by having forced conversations with 2-4 girls for 5-10 minutes each. We could potentially form a greater connection by being ourselves and doing something fun like going out to dinner, playing a recreational volleyball game, or even just playing cards with the girls.

I know that Greek Life prides itself on tradition and customs and standards, but maybe it's time to stray away from tradition. We shouldn't have to censor ourselves or try to appear "perfect" in order to find the sorority that is right for us. By the end of the recruitment process, we should be able to preference the house where we can see ourselves being comfortable watching a movie in pajamas and no makeup with all the sisters. When I first got my bid from Zeta, I wouldn't have been comfortable doing that. Now that I've gotten to know my sisters, I'm glad to say that I would be. At the end of the day, I guess the system worked out for me. But I got lucky, because the formal recruitment process gave me little insight as to what each chapter is really like.