Sophomore year is KICKING me in the ass. My life is really a big fat joke right now. I was so excited to come back to school after summer, but boy, right now, all I want is to be home.

I am currently writing from my literal deathbed. It is the beautiful season of midterms so I am struggling hard. Adding on to this, I just found out that I have strep so you could say that I'm doing REALLY well! Woohoo, I love college.

Honestly, besides from classes, my life isn't going too well. One of the reasons why I'm struggling is because I keep comparing sophomore year to freshman year. Freshman year was quite literally the best year of my life. I met my best friends, joined my sorority, did okay in my classes and overall, had so much fun. This whole summer, I HATED being home and I just couldn't wait to come back, but now that I am back, it just sucks. I can honestly say that I'm not as happy as I used to be. This school was a safe haven for me: a place I could go to that I know would take care of me and always be there. SCU was more of a home to me than my actual home (Dallas) was.

But, this year, everything has changed. I no longer feel as safe as I did. My dorm feels more like a prison than a home. There are just so many reminders of how horrible things are going in my life that I just keep sinking down into a hole. I've only been here for what? A month? And already, I am so unhappy. I wish I could snap my fingers and have everything go back to the way it was last year, but I really can't. I need to first focus on my mental health and then I'm sure that this year will turn itself around. I'm not hopeless yet. :)