College is exciting within itself; you’re making new friends, learning things you never thought you would learn, and you’re preparing yourself for the real world after you graduate. When I finished my freshmen year of college in 2015, someone said to me, “Get ready for your sophomore year, it’s the toughest one.” I was confused by what they meant. My freshmen year wasn’t picture perfect; I went through a bad breakup, cut ties with a close friend and of course the schoolwork wasn’t helping either, and I thought to myself, “It gets worse!?”
Unfortunately, they were right. When you first enter college, you’re trying things for the first time. Clubs and organizations pull you in and take up your time, events, dorm life, school work: everything is ten times more intense than you thought it was going to be. I told myself freshmen year that I was going to join one club and focus on my school work, and that was because I didn’t want to be stressed out all the time like I was in high school. Fall semester was simple, like it was for everyone, then spring got a little weird but I managed. I ended up getting a job as a Resident Advisor, and was planning on becoming more involved in the clubs I was a part of when I entered my sophomore year.
With more responsibilities comes more stress. You find out that there is far more time to take on other things, so you do just that. The workload piles up; you have papers to write, homework that’s due at midnight, posters to create, flyers to email, people to contact, and before you know it, it’s two in the morning, and you’re not even halfway done. Your social life is out of the question at some points. The friends who were by your side, through thick and thin, your whole freshmen year drift away without any explanation. You’re constantly put in the middle between friend groups and certain friends in general, and the last thing you want to do is pick a side. You slowly become more introverted to ignore the drama, then you start getting stood up by friends, and before you know it, they’re gone.
Boys suck in general, but when you’re almost 20 years old, you think it’s time to find the one. Unfortunately, not every guy is as mature as you are, and they’re just as stupid as ever in high school. It also doesn’t help that either all the men on campus are either taken or complete jerks, so you get sucked into Tinder, completely losing all hope in the world when it comes to guys, but there will be a few that will make butterflies appear in your stomach. If you go through a breakup, trusting someone again with not only your heart, but also your mind, is a big step, and takes far too long then you expect.
How can you survive this dreadful sophomore year then? There’s no class on it, your mom can tell you about her sophomore year in college all she wants, but it’s completely different from today. You just can’t dwell. There are going to be those girls that you use to be friends with that you have to watch out for. It doesn’t matter if you ended on good or bad terms, they’re mad at you, probably even hate you, in some way, shape or form, and whenever you walk by them, you’re going to get the stink eye. There’s no easy way to avoid it, so just become the bigger person; smile at them when you make that awkward eye contact, and if you don’t want to talk to them then don’t, no one is forcing you. You also have to put yourself out there; if you lose a lot of friends, gain some back with co-workers, classmates, other club members, etc. I made so many new friends just from being an RA, and you can’t focus on the past memories forever, make some new ones.
When it comes to relationships, that’s a tricky subject. I’m not Miss Flirt, nor will I ever be, and I’m wicked nervous around guys I like, sometimes even stupid, but if you go through a terrible breakup, you can’t compare every guy to the one who broke your heart. Giving someone a chance will be what’s best in the end. You may find someone you really enjoy spending time with, or you may not, but you’ll be proud of yourself at the fact that you weren’t scared to give him a shot.
Your sophomore year is going to be weird, believe me, but like always, there are far more ups than downs. The new friends you’ll make will be by your side, the confidence that you’ll gain will never go away, and your heart, mind and conscience will be at ease.
