Like most girls when they’re young and naive, the last person I wanted to listen to was my mother. Assuming she was wrong, I would stomp my feet in anger and astonishment that she could say no to my go to puppy dog face. Nevertheless, I threw the average temper tantrum in hopes that she would give in to what I wanted. This never actually happened, even though I imagined it would hundreds of times.

Like most girls, I started to appreciate my mother more and more as I got older. It’s as if the older we get the more we start to understand the unbelievable bond a mother and daughter truly share. If someone told me at the age of 16 that I would have thought of my mother as my best friend years down the road, I would have ignored them completely.

Two years ago, I made the gut-wrenching decision to move 1,392 miles away from my life in New York. Little did I know, one of the hardest days of my life would soon transform the relationship I have with my mother into the Lorelai and Rory Gilmore mother-daughter relationship that most girls only dream of having.

You all have probably heard the cliché that goes a little something like, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder.” I’ll be the first to say that this cliché is in fact, dead on.

After I left the home that was built for me by my parents, I was able to experience life in the real world. I was left to manage money on my own, purchase a car on my own, make appointments for myself, and do every adult-like thing on my own. In a nutshell, it kicked my butt. But with real life, came finding out who I was meant to be away from my family.

I came to the realization that my mother and I were too similar, yet not similar enough to agree on the same things. We constantly fought and disagreed. These constant arguments never failed to leave both of us in tears. Within minutes of our so-called argument, we would forget why we were disagreeing in the first place and act as though nothing had happened. Literally, every single time. But this was not a healthy relationship. (Sorry Momma, I still love you.)

Now back to the Lorelai and Rory mother-daughter relationship. My mother and I never had this until after I left home. I've learned to cherish the two months out of the entire year I get to be with her. I’ve learned not to take for granted the back scratches, foot rubs, and I’m not going to lie, the maid service. That’s always a perk! But that’s not the point. The point is, well, I’m going to let you decide for yourself what the point is.

To me, the point is that leaving behind the most important things in my life led me to re-creating myself. I was able to find the “puzzle piece” of myself that I was missing for so long. This puzzle piece is something we all discover throughout the chaotic life of a young adult. After finding my misplaced puzzle piece, I was able to be the Rory for my mother. Alright, I guess I lied because there’s more than one point. The second point is a realization of mine; you cannot fully invest in a mother-daughter relationship as imperfectly perfect as Lorelai and Rory, until you find out who you are. You must be confident with your flaws, with your imperfections, and most importantly, you must realize that one day you will be her. (Stop denying it, I promise you it will happen sooner or later)

P.S. Just remember, life isn’t always butterflies and rainbows. Sometimes, to find that pot of gold on the other side, you need to take a leap of faith. Or something like that.