I remember doors slamming. Curse words flying. Household items being thrown. I remember phone calls to the other parent being cut short because the one was angry at the other. I remember having to put back on the clothes I wore from one parent because the one parent didn't buy the other parent's clothes. I most fondly remember one parent always talking bad about the other in front of my sisters.
But I wouldn't let it be like that. I wouldn't let it be like that because we chose to put the child first. My son's father and I chose to make sure our child had a bright future. We chose for him to know that just because something doesn't work out in life he does not have to have anger toward whatever didn't work out. We chose to be a great team.
We celebrated his first birthday over the weekend. My son's father's girlfriend may have been there, but I had moved on from the old me who would have decked her in her face at the front door. This wasn't about me. This was about the relationship with her new boyfriend, my son's father, and I once shared. This was about our son. When she signed up to be with him, she signed up to be in my child's life. She signed up to care. All I want in my son's life is for him to be surrounded by people who love him. That's what matters. I'm not angry at him or his new girlfriend. She cares about the boy I share my whole world with, and that's what matters to me.
He came to open presents. We chose to split the presents straight down. Lord knows neither one of use can wear the clothes, let alone we don't need the toys. The presents weren't about, "Well my cousin's friend Chris bought that." The presents were for the child. Our son has an even number of presents at both parents' houses. That's what matters. Our son has his toys.
I scroll through my Facebook lately and I see so many statues with parents shaming the other for lack of this or that. I hear so many of my males friends discussing how they want 50/50 custody but the mother won't allow. I wrote up our custody papers. I want my son to have both parents. His father is a great dad. There is no reason why he shouldn't see his child. I make more than my son's father does. There is no reason he needs to pay me for child support. I don't want money. I know if I were to ever call him in need of anything for my son or myself, he would be there to help. He know's what it is, it's for his child, or the mother provides for said child. He respects me.
Now, it wasn't always like this. I won't claim to be a saint. We got off to a rocky start. We had to wake up one day, sit down, and discuss about how it was never going to work out. We had to make the choice to put our child first and accept things as they where. Since that day, we've been a team. We've helped each other in more ways than one. We've laughed, cried and made each other stronger while raising our beautiful child. To this day, he's still my emergency contact. I know he'll be there for anything. He knows I'll pull to help him out, always. We chose to put our child first and respect another.
