On Tuesday Sept The 6th, I ended a relationship that had been around for almost 15 months.

I know, a long time.

Sometimes in life the only way to describe something is through song. Good, bad, or indifferent, it seems the best way to explain it is through someone else's voice and lyrics.

At least for me any way.

If I had a dime for every time a song came on and it was so true to my life that I played it all the time I’d be rich. Instead, I have a list of songs that may always remind me of him.

In the wake of this annulment of relations with this person, I decided to give you all a list of songs that described what our relationship was.

I acknowledge the whole thing wasn't bad. As in every relationship there was a good time in our love. So there are some good songs. I encourage you to go look and listen to them.

I apologize in advance for the lengthy article.

Again- John Legend

First time we ever got a chance to be alone we knew

It was wrong to do

I guess that's why I was drawn to you

Second time leads to the third, the fifth, the seventh time

And I'm doing it again

Yes, I'm doing it again

Oh, I'm doing it again

I said it would end

But here it goes again

This was the song of this relationship. It was just wrong. We should have never been together but we kept doing it over and over again.

Same Kinda Man- Candice Glover

Suicide - James Arthur

But if there is one thing that I'm guilty of

It's loving and giving when you take too much

If somebody asked how we died

Please look them straight in the eye

Call it suicide

Don't fabricate

Just tell them babe

It was suicide

Don't sugarcoat it

Just let them know

Sometimes being with that man seemed more like killing me than giving me life.

Suitcase- Emeli Sande

Himaholic- Kelly Price

I don't want no speech when I get weak

I don't want no preach when I feel heat

I can't hear you teach when I have needs

I need relief

Cause I'm a himaholic I had a relapse

And I've fallen so when will I bounce back

I'm a himaholic another setback

The man's addictive, he's so addictive

A himaholic I had a relapse

And I've fallen so when will I bounce back

I'm a himaholic another setback

The man is toxic the man is toxic

At one time it seemed he was the only high I could get. But it wasn’t a good high.

Bad- Wale

All I ask- Adele

Aint all Bad- Fantasia

If I was a bird - Fantasia

I didn't want you to take my hand,

But I kinda like the thought of that in a man,

Now I'm so done with that.

If I was a bird

I would fly out of here,

Forget everything

Travel the world.

If I was a bird

I would spread my wings

So I can survive and get away from you.

If I was a bird,

Oh yea

If I was a bird, if I wasn't in love.

There are probably three reasons why I dated this guy.

He was and still is very physically attractive.

He gave me attention.

I could toss his name around as my boyfriend.

In My Mind -Heather Headley

They say if you love something, you've got to let it go.

And if it comes back, then it means so much more.

Fine if it never does, at least you will know,

That it was something you had to go through to grow.

At one time I thought that when I let him go and he came back it was him coming back for me because he loved me, but, he only came back physically and not in spirit. So it wasn’t love it was lust. For him anyway.

Impossible- James Arthur

I remember years ago

Someone told me I should take

Caution when it comes to love, I did

And you were strong and I was not

My illusion, my mistake

I was careless, I forgot, I did

And now

When all is done, there is nothing to say

You have gone and so effortlessly

You have won, you can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now

Shout it from the rooftops

Write it on the sky line

All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy

And my heart is broken

All my scars are open

Tell them what I hoped would be impossible,

Omen- Sam Smith

Not in that way- Sam Smith

I'd never ask you cause deep down

I'm certain I know what you'd say

You'd say I'm sorry believe me

I love you but not in that way

When I told him I loved him the first time, he said no. What I should've done was run. The second time I said I loved him he said that he loved me like a friend. Which was weird because you don’t do certain things with your friends.

I Miss You- Adele

Free Yourself - Fantasia

Don't Act Right- Fantasia

Damn- Candice Glover

You Should've Told Me- Kelly Price

You should've told me

I wasn't small enough

You should've told me

I didn't call enough

But you led me on

And kept me going

And we never should've wasted this time

You should've told me

I wasn't wild enough

You should've told me

I didn't smile enough

What you had in my mind

Made me lose my mind

And we never should've wasted this time

Towards the end it seemed nothing I did was right. He’d just comment on the stuff I did that he didn't like. Never on the good stuff I did (like become a writer for Odyssey). If he didn't want me he could have told me.

As we Lay- Kelly Price

Wake Up Alone- Amy Winehouse

Tired - Kelly Price

No Sitting By The Phone- Vivian Green

We used to sit over there

That was your favorite chair

But now I sit here alone

I can still smell your scent

So fresh in my head

Still feel you kiss me goodbye

I washed clothes today.

Found some of your garments

Guess you forgot them when you left

Took out the trash as you would

And dined by myself

Guess I better get used to this

We used to sit over there

That was your favorite chair

But now I sit here alone

No use crying bout it,

I'll have to do without it

And no I won't sit by the phone

It's not like you did me right

I was just comfortable and used to you

Now I see, I must first love me

And maybe Mr. Right will come strolling along

Time- Ne Yo

Too Good- Drake

Playing Our Song- Chrisette Michelle

I'm Okay- Chrisette Michelle

So Sick- Neyo

I Want You To Stay- Marsha Ambrosius

Chasing Clouds- Marsha Ambrosius

The Break Up Song- Marsha Ambrosius

Run- Marsha Ambrosius

Couldn't talk

Couldn't sleep

Didn't know

What you need

Got me feeling so weak

Cause you came in too deep

Wanna stay

Wanna leave

I'm so caught in between

Now I finally see

That you just weren't the one for me

Was what I should've done.

Only Wanna Give It To You- Elle Varner

I Don't Care - Elle Varner

Welcome Home- Elle Varner

Damn Good Friends- Elle Varner

The Worst- Jhene Aiko

It’s Cool- Jhene Aiko

My escape from everything

Please say you'll be my nothin

And I will give you everything

Man, you are really something else

You caught me at an awful time

See I just lost my smile

And that is what you helped me find

Hadn't seen it in a while

But it's cool

We ain't gotta be nothing

It's true

I'd actually prefer it, yeah

It's on you, it's on you, it's on you

When I first met him I was stuck. Too confused to look away, too tired of not being noticed to reject his attention. I was weak and I needed something that he ended up being. For the wrong reasons.

Eternal Sunshine- Jhene Aiko

Skyfall- Adele

Best for Last- Adele

Melt My Heart To Stone- Adele

Cold Shoulder- Adele

You grace me with your cold shoulder

Whenever you look at me I wish I was her

You shower me with words made of knives

Whenever you look at me I wish I was her

If he didn't feel something I said was worth a response he’d just not respond. Like responding was optional. Like acknowledging me was optional. If I’m your girl and you feel that I’m optional, you have a serious problem. He was more friendly to his best friend than he was to me.

Make You Feel My Love- Adele

He Won't Go- Adele

Take It All- Adele

Remedy- Adele

When the pain cuts you deep

When the night keeps you from sleeping

Just look and you will see

That I will be your remedy

When the world seems so cruel

And your heart makes you feel like a fool

I promise you will see

That I will be, I will be your remedy

Anything that would've hurt him I would've fixed. I would've taken away. I would've demolished.

So Gone- Monica

Dreaming With a Broken Heart- John Mayer

Break Down These Walls- Melanie Fiona

My love is strong

But it's weary from the climb

Why can't you help me

Can't you help me please break down your walls

Can you please

Cause I'm holding on

But my spirit gets weary

Oh, I know what it is

It ain't easy, we must break down your walls

But we must break

Love has no fear, please take down your walls

I'll be right here, please break down your walls

He’d very often ice me out. Which was something he did to everyone. But you can’t just always keep your lover on the outskirts of the walls of your heart. Otherwise they’ll just walk away.

Wrong Side Of A Love Song- Melanie Fiona

Gone And Never Coming Back- Melanie Fiona

Can’t Say I Never Loved You- Melanie Fiona

You said you love me but you left

Lord knows I really did my best

I relied on you to do the rest

Can’t say I never loved you

And I was giving you me

Hoping that the possibility

Wouldn’t need to set you free

Can’t say I never loved you

But I can’t be that girl to say I never loved him because I did love him and I loved him dearly. Honestly I still love him but I love myself and I want to do bigger and better things in life that I just can’t see him in.

Rock Paper Scissors- Melanie Fiona

Can't Do This No More- Melanie Fiona

Teach Him- Melanie Fiona

What Am I To Do- Melanie Fiona

Bittersweet- Fantasia

Side Effects Of You- Fantasia

What I’m gonna do is

Fever over 98, you hold me and my body shakes

See nobody told me, nobody told me

The side effects of you

Losing balance, falling down

Sleepless nights whenever you’re around

Nobody told me, nobody told me

The side effects of you

The side effects of you

At one time in my relationship with him, I didn't sleep because he was a night person and I was more of a day person. To be with him, though, I'd do anything. I would just drink caffeine to keep going. I ended up getting intense migraines that summer.

Almost- Tamia

Daydreaming- Tamia

Last First Kiss- Tamia

My last first kiss

Baby won't you be my last time kissing somebody

For the very first time

All my ladies say la la la la la

Our first time making love

Baby I pray that this is the last time that I

Make love to for the very first time

My ladies say la la la la la

Not that we ever kissed or anything.

Is It Over Yet- Tamia

The Need To Know- Wale

Good Thing- Sam Smith

Leave Your Lover- Sam Smith

I've Told You Now- Sam Smith

Still I refrain

From talking at you, talking on

You know me well

I don't explain

But what the hell

Why do you think I come 'round here on my free will?

Wasting all my precious time

Oh, the truth spills out

And oh I

I've told you now

That’s how it fell when I told him I loved him. Like "opps". He treated it like dirty water and did nothing but tossed it out his mind.

Love is A Losing Game- Sam Smith

Need You Bad- Jazmine Sullivan

Bust Your Windows- Jazmine Sullivan

Lion Tigers & Bears- Jazmine Sullivan

Good Enough- Jazmine Sullivan

Stuttering- Jazmine Sullivan

I said hel hel hel hello

And my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my name is Jazmine

And it's so frustrating, 'cause I don't wanna let you down

My mind is racing but it won't come out

Can't believe that I can't talk

But it's not my fault

Cause there's something that you do that's got me stuttering

So much that I wanna say

But something's getting in my way

And I got to figure out how to stop stuttering

Anytime he'd get around I'd lose my mind wouldn't be able to do anything. Like thinking would get difficult or something. I’d feel really just confused.

Forever Don't Last- Jazmine Sullivan

Stanley- Jazmine Sullivan

Cold Piece- Melanie Fiona

And now my summers feel like winters

And all I'm left without these splits of memories

I never dreamed you'd leave

Oh how so very silly of me

I just can't believe how someone can be

Such a cold piece of work at heart

He acted like instead of having a heart he had an ice tray. And you can't love with an ice tray.

I’m Doin Me- Fantasia

It's all good -Fantasia

Get It right- Fantasia

Brand New- Jazmine Sullivan

The Thrill is Gone- Fantasia

It's gone

Along with games the cars the lies, the thrill is gone

So gone

Though it was fun but now we're done the thrill is gone