1. “Californication” by The Red Hot Chili Peppers
You were a real badass at the age of approximately 11, and you snuck this song onto your iTunes via the LimeWire account you loved to exploit because the song title included the word “fornication,” a word you looked up on Urban Dictionary and were intrigued to learn about. You also wanted to look cool and approachable — filled with knowledge about alternative rock — because your crush wore an RHCP shirt every Tuesday and sat right behind you in math class.
2. “The Real Slim Shady” by Eminem
You were an aspiring poet, getting your size 5.5 feet wet in the rap world, when you clicked “Purchase” on this iconic song by Slim Shady. You, like your RHCP-loving counterpart, wanted to seem cool and in-the-know, even though you hadn't heard of Dr. Dre before, and you hadn’t ever watched the Discovery Channel.
3. “I’m Like A Bird” by Nelly Furtado
From an early age, you were a die-hard romantic. You were in love by age eight and had your wedding planned by age 10. All you needed was a groom, and it sure as hell wasn’t going to be the wheezing recluse sitting to your write in phonics class. Ugh.
4. “A Thousand Miles” by Vanessa Carlton
A basic b*tch from birth (a BBFB, if you will) is what you were. You preferred chai lattes to your baby formula and avocado toast to the PB&J your mom packed in your brown paper lunch sack. You knew all about Miss Carlton before “White Chicks” swept the nation, and you were proud of it. Like, literally.
5. “100 Years” by Five for Fighting
You, another fair hopeless romantic, were so into the song and the corresponding music video because it was exactly how you wanted your life to unfurl. You knew 15 was the magic year to jumpstart that journey to finding your soul mate, and hell, nothing was going to stop you from making it to 99, even though you’d probably be quite wrinkly.
6. “Not Ready To Make Nice” by The Dixie Chicks
For you, my lovely Dixie Chicks fan, there are several options. But my favorite, perhaps most controversial, one is as follows. You were born into a family that loved George Bush (affectionately referred to as “Dubya”), one that forbade you from listening to this tenacious, well-spoken group of female country singers from the moment they dissed the Prez and onward. You, however, as a proponent of free speech ever since you learned your first 10 Amendments in order in the 5th grade, loved this song, and it felt damn good to sing it at the top of your lungs in your room.
7. “Aaron’s Party (Come Get It)” by Aaron Carter
You were definitely the future high school party host if you listened to this song on repeat. Not that you wanted to be. But you were because you were a good friend who couldn’t help but open your home to your loving companions when your parents went out for the night. And yes, the kids always spilled juice on your mom’s new cushions, if anyone was wondering.
8. “I Want It That Way” by The Backstreet Boys
The boy maniac. I mean… the connoisseur of all things male-related. That’s what you were, as early as the third grade. Your girlfriends came to you for advice and got so jealous when you told them who messaged you on AIM last night. You came to their aid and directed them as you would want to be directed by quoting songs like this one and others. If a boy band said it, it had to be true.
9. “…Baby One More Time” by Britney Spears
You were generally a heartbreaker, but man, when someone let you down, they let you down hard. You totally let them know it too, as you sang this song into your hairbrush, at the top of your lungs, frying your vocal chords as you tried to sound like Britney.
10. “Beverly Hills” by Weezer
Dude. You were a chiller from day one. Your friends and your car and your fashion sense were all whack. You didn’t go to boarding school, and hell, you felt totally tubular about the entire thing. Rock on.
