As defined by The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, sonder is “the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.”
Often, we live out our days worried about what we have to do next, thinking of what happened earlier or making assumptions of those whom paths we cross. However, little do we remember that our lives are only one of the millions of lives in the world needing care for each day. Little do we stop and think how important and beautiful the complex life of the person across the street is. It is not that we are denying the fact that each person’s life is story worthy of reading, but rather it is that we get too caught up in our own days.
I, too, am guilty of running between thoughts, many focused on myself. As I sit outside and write, people walk past me. I look up and look down again, back to my life and back to my world. I don’t know if I’ll ever meet them again or if they’ll become “one in the crowd” to me. Finally, I stop and sit outside still for a moment, allowing the whole concept and definition of sonder to sink in.
Wow.
Your life is a story, you are the author, and each person you pass by is a character. Someone may only be mentioned for a sentence, while others you meet will create an entire new chapter in your life story. One of the most fascinating parts of this entire concept is that each character you walk pass, every person shuffling in a crowd, and even those individuals you will never encounter are all writing their own story, living their own life.
Taking time to truly think about this complexity gave me a greater appreciation for each person and gave me a new lens to view my day through. Sonder has helped me remember how beautiful life is, embrace the unknown chaos, and appreciate the fullness of life in every single human being. Sonder has challenged me to take time to “just be”, pause my brain that runs endlessly on my own worries, and breathe in the same air that I share with every character in my story.
The definition continues on to say that each passerby is “populated with their own abilities, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness.” So now it’s your time to discover the abilities in others, understand their worries, and enjoy their craziness. It’s time for us all to stop judging, assuming or forgetting.
Whichever path you are on in your life right now, something has brought you to get here. The people we meet along our journey, the choices we make each day and the goals we set all shape our lives and ourselves. So embrace your journey, and always remember to find the beauty in each life.
Take time and reflect on the word: sonder.
