Confidence is defined as a feeling of self-assurance and a deep appreciation for your own abilities. Have you ever met that one person who just has effortless confidence? Those people are charismatic and natural leaders. Everyone strives to be confident in themselves, but it is not as easy as it seems. From a young age, I have been told that I appear to be a very confident person. However, that is not the case. Some people (myself included), who have a distinct air of confidence about them are far from self-assured.

Yes, we may have a tough exterior, but on the inside lays a very fragile and sensitive soul. In the words of the singer SIA:

“Well, I've got thick skin and an elastic heart,

But your blade—it might be too sharp

I'm like a rubberband until you pull too hard,

Yeah, I may snap and I move fast

But you won't see me fall apart

'Cause I've got an elastic heart.”

These lyrics speak truth to so many people. We may put up a wall, but if you break our walls down, it takes us forever to rebuild. Behind our wall of confidence is where our insecurities stay. So close to the wall, that even a crack in the bricks may cause some of them to come flooding out.

Society tells us we have to be outgoing to succeed. Confidence is usually a façade for what we are hiding underneath. Sometimes it is easier to personify your insecurities than to hide them away. There is no better way to convince people you are confident than being outgoing and brazen about all things even though you are cringing at the attention inside. Sometimes to compensate for our insecurities we may say something that can be construed as mean. We do not intend to offend, it just sometimes happens. Trying to make ourselves feel like enough can come at the expense of others, which is hard to realize. If we happen to say something rude, we are eternally sorry, sometimes our insecurities and frustrations manifest in this way.

It is important to remember that everyone you meet is going through more than you know, regardless if someone is the most assertive person you come into contact with or they are more reserved. Keep in mind that just because someone is confident does not mean they are not dealing with a lot of personal effects.