When I was seven years old, I found out that I would be moving from Texas to Florida. I moved again when I was ten years old. Another time when I was fourteen. And for the fourth time the summer I turned sixteen. Each time I did not fully understand why my family and I needed to be where we were going. I had no idea about what experiences I was going to have in each new city. There were no clues as to who I was going to meet. Instead, we as a family had to hold onto hope that with each move we would grow and become stronger.
Fast forward a couple of years to when I decided what my next move would be. This move was different, because it was up to me where I would choose to leave my friends, home, and family to pursue a college education. With each application, I came a little closer to knowing where it was that I needed to go, but eventually it came down to a final decision between two universities. Each of them offered programs I desired, opportunities for me to grow intellectually, and environments that I felt that I could thrive in throughout my undergraduate years.
Yet, in the end I felt that one school was where my head wanted me to go. The other school was where my gut and spirit were telling me that I needed to go. When I made the decision to follow the latter, I didn’t fully understand as to why I needed to accept a spot with the incoming Class of 2019. I didn’t know what experiences I was going to have or who I was going to meet while pursuing my education.
A year after making that decision I do not feel that I have a perfect of knowledge of why I chose to move to Provo, UT and attend Brigham Young University. While we desire to have a clear understanding now, I know that sometime we will understand.
A song that I listened to recently reminded me of this truth with its beautiful lyrics:
Not now, but in the coming years,
It may not be when we demand,
We'll read the meaning of our tears,
And there, sometime, we'll understand
So trust in God through all thy days;
Fear not, for He doth hold thy hand;
Though dark thy way, still sing and praise,
Sometime, sometime we'll understand.
Despite the darkness that may surround our minds and makes us feel weak in our lack of knowledge, God will help us understand the answer to “Why?” Sometime we will see every heartbreak, every tear, and every gut-decision with eyes opened to seeing His hand holding ours throughout our lives. As we are confronted with experiences that are challenging and leave us with many questions, it is the faith that they will work out for our good that will carry us until we receive more understanding from God. He will answer our questions, but He will always guide us until we receive those answers. Every day I feel gratitude as I come closer to understanding through the small tender mercies God shows His hand in, yet I know that I will probably not understand the complete reason for everything for quite a while. Sometime, we’ll understand.
