I was born and raised in Reno, Nevada. I spent 18 years of my life surrounded by sagebrush, incredible sunsets, blue skies and over 300 mountain ranges. When I graduated high school, I moved 1,615 miles away to Denton, Texas. I've spent two years of my life there in a place with humidity, bluer skies, bugs the size of my face, and Whataburger.

For roughly 10 years of my life, I felt angry. I felt angry at the situation life had decided to give me. I felt angry at who my parents were. I felt angry for many reasons. Recently, I learned that I have OCD. I have always been a compulsive person. I have always felt best when I was in control of a situation. Until recently, I did not understand the reasons for the anger or the need for control.

My name is Carmen, and I am a child of an alcoholic. For 10 years of my life, I have felt anger at the man who gave me life. I felt anger at the situations his drinking put me in. I felt anger at my mother for letting his behavior become what is. I felt anger. And I still feel angry, but not for the same reasons.

I feel angry because according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, nearly 88,000 people die from alcohol-related causes every year in the United States. We hear about these things on the news. It seems like every highway we drive on we see a sign dedicated to the victims who lost their lives because of reckless and drunk driving. But only 9,967 of those deaths were from driving. So many people die from alcohol poisoning every year or because they cannot live without a drink.

I feel angry because 10 percent of children in the U.S. live with a parent with alcohol problems. I am one of them, and apparently, I am not alone. Children are the ones most affected by this kind of behavior. We watch our parent or parents drink and drink and think it's normal behavior which can often lead to our own dissent into alcoholism, marrying an alcoholic, control issues and anger issues.

My name is Carmen, and I am a child of an alcoholic. I have watched my father slowly drink himself to death. I watch as his health deteriorates. I watch as he drinks starting at 10 in the morning. And I know there is nothing I can do to stop it.

As a child affected by the alcohol in my life, I know that it is the third highest cause of death in the United States. And I am so angry about that fact. I am a college student and a resident assistant. I see so many college students drink and drink and I can see how badly it affects them.

Alcohol lowers our inhibitions but increases are aggression. When I think about young kids drinking, I feel scared. I feel scared that they may not live past a certain age, that they may develop alcoholism and that they may kill themselves from alcohol poisoning. I fear for college students.

My name is Carmen, and I am a child of an alcoholic. Growing up, I thought the way my dad drank was normal. He was and is a good father. I had a great childhood. He was a high-functioning alcoholic. My dad did not abuse us, and he does not abuse us.

As a child and a teenager, I watched my dad go through horrible medical issues. He had a heart attack, gall bladder surgery, lung embolisms, colon cancer, lupus anticoagulant syndrome, diabetes and a stroke. I know how those things affected him, especially the stroke. The man I once knew as my father disappeared after that and the alcohol consumption did not and has not helped.

When I am home, I watch the man who gave me life deteriorate into someone I no longer know. And it's hard to see. He's my father, I love him... but he's hard to tolerate once he starts drinking. The alcohol has made him into a different man.

My name is Carmen, and I am a child of an alcoholic. I have done group therapy and one-on-one therapy, talking about the affects that the drinking has had on me. I have a lot of anger, bitterness and resentment toward my parents because they put me through situations my older sister did not have to see. And for a long time, I could not disassociate who they were with who they are.

Now, I have less anger toward both of them. I see my mom making these marvelous strides to try and show my sister and I that it is never too late to get help. My mom goes to Al-Anon (for those affected by alcohol), she tries to help Al-Ateens and she goes to A.A. meetings for support. She's taken me to one.

I have been to an A.A. meeting. I have watched and listened while these people tell their stories. Some are 20 years sober and some are a few weeks. I notice that many only began their recoveries because they were told they would die if they didn't stop drinking. I don't understand that. I can't imagine having something in my life that I needed so badly that nothing else mattered. And to hear their stories and how thankful they were to be trying to get better or to be better made me realize that alcoholism is a disease.

My name is Carmen, and I am a child of an alcoholic. My twenty-first birthday is in five short months. I am terrified. There is a huge part of me that doesn't want to do anything to celebrate. I do not want to drink. There is another part of that says if I don't, will I ever learn the truth about myself?

I do not think I will be an alcoholic. But I don't know because I have never drank. I didn't do it in high school, and I haven't done it in college. And I am scared. What if I take that first sip and become like my father? What if I take that first sip and cannot control myself? But what if I take that first sip and hate it?

I fear for that day in November. I fear for what will happen during my birthday because I do not want to end up like my dad. There is alcoholism on both sides of my family, and I do not want that to happen to myself. And I am so fearful of that day as I think most children affected by alcoholism are.

My name is Carmen, and I am a child of an alcoholic. Growing up, my biggest fear was heights. I hated them and still do. I would have to hold my mom or dad's hand when we went on roller coaster, and I couldn't look out the window on car rides in the mountains because we were too high up.

As a tween, my biggest fear was failing. I was so afraid of making a mistake and failing a class that I spent hours making sure I did things correctly. As a teen, my biggest fear was the city I lived in. Reno had thrown hurdle after hurdle at me, and I hated the place. As a female, my biggest fear is someone attacking me. But in all those cases, I am lying. I am lying to you, to the world and to me.

My name is Carmen, and I am a child of an alcoholic. My biggest fear is not in failing or heights. My biggest fear is not in being assaulted or attacked. My biggest fear is not forgetting my dreams or never amounting to anything. My biggest fear is that I will become an alcoholic or that I will marry one. Does no one see the problem with that?

We live in a time when underage drinking is encouraged. We live in a time when drinking is the social thing to do. But we also live in a time where we do not talk about the consequences. And I am so fearful of what we are becoming. I do not want my friends to suffer through what I have only seen secondhand. I do not want to see them suffer as my father does. I do not want to see anyone in a state of such need that they cannot function without a damn drink.

The perception of alcohol needs to be changed because when someone's biggest fear is winding up like their father -- a man who is an alcoholic -- or their mother, someone who married a drunk... then there is something wrong with the world we are living in.

My name is Carmen, and I am a child of an alcoholic. I have learned early and still I fear. I know the signs and the warnings. I have seen what alcoholism can do to me and nothing will be able to prevent the same thing from continuing in my family if I become an alcoholic or marry one. My biggest fear is putting my potential children through what I went through.

My name is Carmen... and I moved almost 1,700 miles away to get away from my anger and my bitterness. I am taking the steps to stop it from continuing. I am doing all I can to ensure I do not wind up like my parents, but I am not alone.

My name is Carmen, and I want your help to spread the word. Visit Al-Anon sites, go to an A.A. meeting, learn about the affect of alcohol at NIAA, but do NOT become complacent in this issue.

My name is Carmen, and I am a child of an alcoholic.