My sophomore year of college officially kicked off last Wednesday with my first day of classes. With one year under my belt I was way less nervous about what to expect on the first day. It was nice to be calm and know that I probably was not going to receive a heavy load of homework thanks to the never failing Syllabus Week.
Though this provided some peace of mind. I always find myself thinking about who will be in my classes. From a very young age, I have constantly found myself being the only person of color or specifically black person or black female in many (if not all) of my classes. No matter what circumstances I find myself in, in the classroom, my goal has remained the same...focus on the education and the opportunity to learn.
This is not easy when you start to feel uncomfortable during class discussions especially when topics regarding race come up. Suddenly, you become the speaker for your entire race...whatever you say is what your peers remember and can often affect how they perceive people who look like you in the future.
Have you ever been singled out by a teacher to give your perspective as a black person, latino, asian...etc? In my experience this has made me extremely uncomfortable. If I say something the people in this room are going to think everyone who looks like me thinks like this. I want to be entitled to my individual opinion and I want it to feel safe. Safe from setting some type of standard. Safe from having to be a know it all... Safe from having to be the token black student.
Don't get me wrong, I love voicing my opinions about issues and topics regarding race but I like voicing them on behalf of myself and what I think and what I feel. I love honest and candid conversations where people can hear my experiences and I can share some of the experiences I've heard from others. It makes it hard to share these experiences when no one looks like you.
For the first time in my entire 14 years of education I found someone who looks like me. Someone who's not a student someone who will actually be teaching me this semester. I nearly cried when I walked in to the classroom because I felt safe. Finally, a black female will be teaching me new things about the world we live in. I've had the pleasure of learning from lots of amazing people, but never a black woman ever in my life. This was a huge milestone for me and I'm excited for the rest of my sophomore year since I have finally been granted with this amazing privilege.
