As you get older, your concept of time changes. When you are young you have less time under your belt to compare the time of a current event to. However, after each birthday you add on another year of life and you have a better concept of how long passing time really is. The truth is it goes by quickly. Time passes, life passes, and the older you get the faster it feels like time is moving. Suddenly you are an adult, in college, or working a job, and you wonder why no one prepared you for the events that you were going to face. The following is a list of nineteen things I wish someone would have told me before I turned nineteen.
1. Do not try to force friendships.
If a friend is worth it, there will be a mutual desire to make it work. When you find the right people, you are going to forget you were ever friends with the wrong people. You are going to forget about the drama your old friend group brought, because with the right people there is no drama. Your true friends, the ones you do not force a friendship with, are the ones that are going to be there for the long run. For the good times and the bad times, they are the ones that are going to stick by your side through it all. Good friends, who support you and love you are the most important.
2. Do not work your summer away.
You are a full time student, and while it is nice to have money, because we all know that college students are broke, do not become a slave to your manager. If you spend all your time working, life is going to pass you by. Request off and go to that concert, what is the worst thing that can happen? You get fired? Someone is always hiring. Do not let a part time, minimum wage job control your life.
3. Social media is forever.
Be careful what you post. The good, the bad, and the ugly are all going to haunt you. And I do not just mean be careful who you drunk subtweet about. Think about how your employer is going to feel when you are trying to get a job or even an internship at a law firm, yet you have photos of your underage drinking days posted on Facebook. How are you going to defend the law, when just a few moments ago you thought breaking it was okay? Just something to think about.
4. You might get cheated on at some point.
You did not do anything wrong so get that idea out of your head. They messed up, and you better make sure they know that. It is your choice if you want to give them another chance, but if you do you better put them through the wringer, make sure they are really willing to make it work. After all, you are a precious gem, and you deserve the love, respect, and the absolute best.
5. You are going to get really drunk.
I know, you are, "never ever going to drink alcohol until you are 21," but trust me the day is going to come. And you are going to get really drunk. And the next morning you are going to think you are dead. But it is not going to stop you from drinking the next time you go out, you still will think that it is fun. Regardless, be careful- do not leave your drunk friends to fend for themselves, be responsible- do not drink so much that you do not even know your name, do not put your drink down, and do not leave the bar/party with anyone that you do not know.
6. Your friends are going to experiment with drugs.
First and foremost, that does not mean you have to. Second, your friends are not bad people. They going to do things that you do not agree with, and sometimes they are going to make bad choices. Do not give into peer pressure, stand your ground, and soon they will follow your good example. If not, then they are not the right kind of friends for you after all.
7. And love.
Chances are you are going to make some really dumb decisions. You are going to hook up with that drunk guy at the party, and your friend is going to hook up with the same person that you just did an hour ago. You are going to swear you will never get back with an ex, and then two days later you are talking again. And you will also go on some of the most amazing dates of your life. You will meet the one... And then you will meet another one, and another one.
8. People are going to leave.
They are going to pick up their things and without warning walk right out of your life. They are not going to say goodbye. And you are going to have to be okay with this. You are going to realize that everything happens in life for a reason, and if you were not part of each others plans, that just means without each other there is something better in store for you.
9. You will fail.
A test, a quiz, or a research paper. It is going to happen at some point. Maybe you did not study hard enough, maybe you do not understand the material, or maybe you have a professor that just absolutely cannot stand you for no reason. Regardless, this single bad grade does not define the type of student you are, and it is not going to ruin your life. You are smart, heck, you are brilliant. You will try harder next time. Again, one grade is not the definition of who you are as a person.
10. You are going to have many sleepless nights.
During these nights you are going to pace, cry for no reason, curse at the moon, and watch the sun come up. Its okay. You are not crazy. You are not alone. You are just coming to the realization that sometimes life is more than you can handle. Which brings me to my next point:
11. Do not be afraid to ask for help.
I get it, you want to handle everything yourself, and I know, you are strong. But sometimes life is easier when you ask for a helping hand, or even some advice from friends and family. They are there to support you. Realize that asking for help does not mean you are any less capable.
12. Spend quality time with yourself.
It is important to learn about who you are. If you pack your schedule and never have any alone time, you are never going to get to know yourself and give yourself a chance to grow. Take some quiet time to listen to your heart, your mind, and your body. Your friends can wait.
13. Spend time with your family too.
You may not realize it, but you are going to miss them. You are going to wish you had spent more time with them when you are out on your own. Parents embarrass you? Little siblings pester you? There is so much more to family than the little quirks that annoy you. Your family is always going to be there, so you always have to be there for your family.
14. However, some family members will hurt you.
You may have a family member who seems selfish or may actually be selfish. They may seem to care more about themselves than anyone else. Remember, you cannot change that. Do not let who they are as a person upset you, do not let it change you. You can accept them for who they are with the understanding that you cannot fix their bad habits, or you can move on and let it go. Whatever choice you make is a personal decision, and no one can fault you for how you feel about this type of situation. Just remember its their problem not yours.
15. People are going to challenge your beliefs.
Do not give in. In your heart you know who you truly are, where you came from, and where you are going. The only thing you should do is allow those challenges to make your beliefs even stronger.
16. You are going to fight with your parents.
Yeah I know, they are your best friends. You are going to fight regardless. You are going to disagree about life decisions you make. Your father is going to stress about your grades and how late you stay out. Your mother is going to get mad when you leave the house in her idea of distasteful clothing. You are not going to always understand what their problem is, but their problem is that they love you and want what is best for you. Your parents are your biggest fans, do not forget that. At the end of the day they will always be rooting for you during the ups, and giving you a shoulder to cry on during the downs.
17. Do not get hung up on looking like the people you see in magazines.
They have someone to do their hair, someone to do their makeup, someone to pick out their outfits, and even after all of that they still have their photos photoshopped. You are beautiful just the way you are.
18. Everything you think you want now you may not want in a year.
You are going to change, and your feelings and ideas are going to fluctuate over time. Sometimes you might think you want something, whether it is a physical object, a career path, or even love. If you come to the realization that you no longer want something that you once thought was all you wanted in the world, do not panic. It just means that whatever you wanted was not a part of your plan, and that is how life works.
19. It is all going to be okay.
Everything that is meant to be will work itself out. It sounds cliche, I know, but it is just overused because it is true. Whether you believe in God, or some other power, or even nothing at all, one thing stands true: there is a plan for your life and it is perfect. Regardless of anything that can go wrong (and trust me, something will go wrong) it is still all part of a greater plan. You are wonderful, you are intelligent, you have a beautiful mind. You are important, somebody loves you.
Remember, life is going to get hard sometimes, but the hardships go by just as fast as the good times do, so enjoy every moment of it.
