By a simple course of action, any of our lives could be entirely different than it is now.
The other day I had a conversation with my friend, Daniel that sparked me to write this down for the Odyssey. Most people at my university know that I love to dance based on the dance heavy shows I’ve been cast in or the close friends I share my love of dance with. But most people don’t know that dance was my life.
From the age of 3 I knew I wanted to be a prima ballerina. My idols were Anna Pavlova, known to be part of the Ballets Russes of Sergei Diaghilev, and Paloma Herrera, member/principle of the American Ballet Theatre. I would look at their feet and preyed and stretched my feet to look like theirs. My life was nothing but school, dance, and homework. I’ve missed school dances and birthday parties because dance was my first priority.
As I entered high school I took an interest in musical theatre, mostly because I could dance while not being committed to the school dance team. I always loved musicals but I was also terrified to sing alone onstage.
My freshman year I got cast as an ensemble dancer in the musical, Barnum. On opening night, my adrenaline was pumping and I couldn’t wait to go up onstage to perform my dance solo. I must have gotten too carried away on my tilt and before I knew it, I was on the ground unable to walk.
That night changed my life forever.
We realized I dislocated my knee, but that was the first out of eight dislocations. After that event, I took dance not as seriously as I realized I wouldn’t be able to be a professional dancer with my knee problems. Thankfully, I began to fall in love with musical theatre. It wasn’t until my junior year that I tore my ACL and meniscus, resulting in knee surgery.
Though I wish I didn’t have to experience dislocations or surgery to find my passion, if I hadn’t, my life could have been extremely different. I probably wouldn’t live in Oklahoma or would have gone to college. I might have still fallen out of becoming a professional dancer and would have had no idea what I wanted to do in life. I told my friend Daniel, I would probably be 20 pounds lighter and possibly would have fallen into an eating disorder as I was heading into that direction when I did dance heavily. I love my major and my career choice, as I can be true to myself and eat the way I want to. The beautiful thing about musical theatre is that they need all types of performers because musicals are a reflection of people and their everyday lives.
I try not to reflect on the past often but if it’s to realize how blessed my life is now, then reflect away! Sometimes you have to lose something to gain something, as I like to call it karma. It’s ok to fall and fail, just get right back up.
I think the musical, Little Women, describes my love for music perfectly, “Some things are meant to be… the way it takes hold of me, no matter what I do.” It’s ironic how that was my first song I sang in college.
