This one is for everyone out there who feels like broken people are your personal projects. For everyone who feels like the fate of those you love most rests on your shoulders and yours alone. I was just like you to realize that some people simply have no interest in being fixed. This was a lesson learned the hard way, but it's one I'll never forget.

I've always been the kind of person who pours my entire heart and soul into everything, whether it be school, work, the gym...or relationships. The problem with this is that when another person is involved, there's no guarantee you'll get out what you put in. With school, you'll get good grades if you study and attend all of your classes. With work, you'll get promotions and raises if you're a diligent employee. With exercise, you'll get results if you push yourself and stay committed. But with relationships of any kind - friends, family, or significant others - the give-and-take isn't always equal. You can give someone your whole world only for them to happily take it and give you nothing in return. This is what happened to me.

I fell for this guy - we'll call him John - almost instantly. He was seemingly everything I wanted: funny, crazy intelligent, cultured, and mature. Quite a bit older than me, but I actually liked that because I figured he was beyond the "party" stage of life that most people my age are stuck in. He was seeing other girls when we first started talking, but I was determined to do whatever it took to be his one and only. If I'd just known how emotionally draining that would prove to be...

Before we were exclusive, I tried to be the "perfect" girl, the obvious choice for a long-term relationship - while still being myself, of course, because I'd made the mistake of embodying a guy's ideal girlfriend only to lose myself in the process far too many times. So I kept it real, but put in every ounce of effort I could. I made myself available whenever he wanted me to be. When he was sick, I brought him soup and his favorite brand of sparkling water. And when I found out about his mental illnesses and drinking problem, I vowed to be as supportive and helpful as possible. After all, I myself struggle with anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder, so it would've been hypocritical of me to abandon someone because of the demons in their head. I thought things were progressing extremely well - he met my best friend, everyone important to him knew about me...hell, we even took a little drive to his hometown one day where he introduced me to his parents.

I expected him to ask me to be his girlfriend soon after that, but nothing changed. He continued to see other girls as well because his insecurity ran too deep for him to go without constant validation from as many people as possible. The alcoholism that he refused to admit continued to spiral out of control. No matter how much effort I put into helping him work through his issues, everything remained the same. He never even tried to open up because his mind was so overwhelmed with emotions that he didn't know how to deal with - to the world, he was stone-cold and unwilling to change. I finally came to terms with the fact that I had two options: either stay with him and exist in a constant state of misery, emanating feelings that would never be reciprocated back to me and knowing that I alone would never be enough for him...or break things off and face the (much easier to deal with) emotional turmoil that comes with wondering what could've been. I chose the latter, and I couldn't have made a better decision.

So if you're like I was - if you think everyone is your responsibility to take care of or that it's your duty to solve everyone's problems, just know that some people don't want to be fixed. Some people are content to suffer because it's comfortable. And while you might blame yourself for that as well, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. They have to decide to change all on their own, and to do it for themselves and themselves alone. Changing for other people is never genuine or permanent. So you can stick around and exhaust yourself trying to mold them into a person they have no interest in being, questioning your own worth and value as a person...or you can let them go and realize that they'll fix themselves without you if that's what they truly want.