We meet a lot of people in our lives. Some come, some go. Eventually, you don't have friends, you have BEST friends.
As the relationship continues to grow, you begin to notice some ticks that they have. Things that irritate them. Things that piss them off. Things that just plain out can ruin their day. But, now that their your best friend, of course, they are going to come to you first about EVERYTHING.
In the beginning, you LOVE to gossip with them. You like hearing about all the news that's going on around you. But, after a while, you are less and less concerned about what they have to gossip about. You already heard about Timmy falling down a well 6 times and the news really isn’t news anymore. You used to love hearing them talk but now you cant stand their voice. As you listen to their stories (that you are told over and over and over), you start to notice a trend.
“Jessie doesn’t like me anymore. I don’t know why but just I hate him too.” “I have no friends.” “I’m throwing a party but I doubt anyone will show up.”
Over and over and over.....
News flash: No one is “always right”. Sorry wives, but it’s true.
Does thinking this way make you a horrible friend? Absolutely not. But hearing about the same shit EVERY FREAKING DAY gets annoying as all get out and no one can handle that (except for counselors.... but I don't know how they do it). Would you ever tell your friend this straight up and to their face? 80% of us would probably say no, but we sure do think it.
I think there are other ways to express our frustration before it reaches this level.
1. Ask them questions that make them think of the real reason that they and their other friend is having problems.
Questions such as: “what happened before this?, “What did you actually say to them in return?” And “what did you do when the issue came about?” But make sure they are answering these questions without exaggeration and are actually telling the true story.
2. Be straightforward without being mean.
"Well, you weren’t really nice to her to begin with.” “I’m sorry but here lately you haven’t had much to say other than negative things”
3. Don't express frustration and ignore it.
Just remember this will cause problems the next time they tell you about their drama and then you’ll be stuck in this scenario again.
It really is better just to be honest with your friends sometimes. Will it hurt their feelings? Probably. But in reality, if your friend is going to never talk to you again because she/he is mad about your honesty, you dont have the right friends anyway.
REMEMBER, the next time you hear about Timmy falling down a well for the 30TH FREAKING TIME, murder is illegal, you love Starbucks runs with your friends... and talking to them about your frustration is critical to a healthy friendship.
