Why Does Society Always Blame 'The Other Woman' Instead Of The Cheater?
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Relationships

Why Does Society Always Blame 'The Other Woman' Instead Of The Cheater?

At the end of the day, it's the cheater's fault.

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Why Does Society Always Blame 'The Other Woman' Instead Of The Cheater?
Humans Media

I'm going to start this conversation by saying that I have no bias in this situation, as I've never been cheated on, nor have I been the "other woman." Coming from this perspective, I have never understood the hatred that is always directed at the mistress/side-ho.

If I was in a loving relationship, and I was cheated on, I don't think I would blame the girl. I really don't. After all, even if she was aware the guy was in a relationship, the blame falls on him, or whatever gender the cheater is.

In the words of my problematic fave, Taylor Swift, "I should've been there in the back of your mind."

However, on the track of Taylor Swift, she is one of many female artists who has placed the blame on the other woman in the relationship. In her song, "Better Than Revenge", she degrades the woman in question by slut-shaming her, rather than placing the blame on the man who made the decision to leave her.

Even Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats," which is often considered an iconic female revenge anthem, relies on insulting the other girl in the situation. She's referred to as a "bleach-blonde tramp", "white trash", and weak because "she can't shoot whiskey".

This habit of society blaming the "homewrecker" stems from this culture of pitting women against each other. Even in this new wave of feminism, I still see posts that, instead of insulting the ex/cheater, insult the other woman.

Why is that?

I ask the question, but I know the answer. Like I said, I've never been in a high-stakes scenario involving cheating, so my comparison might seem silly and juvenile. I think about how I feel when I learn the object of my affections likes someone else, and this allows me a small glimpse of the mindset of these women who go after the girl he's cheating with.

I know I see her and I compare the two of us. I put my pros against her cons, and I don't understand how he could choose her instead. I guess it's this anger and confusion that causes the anger to be directed in the way it so often is.

After all, if you truly love your unfaithful partner, it's hard to be able to hate them, even if they've f***ed up so royally.

But, at the end of the day, a cheater made a conscious decision to risk their relationship for a night or more with someone else. It's important to remember that. It's something I'll try to keep in mind if, God forbid, I'm ever cheated on.

Part of our rapidly-progressing society relies on partnership and sisterhood among women. If we continue buying into the misogynistic concept that only the woman is to blame for a poorly-thought-through relationship.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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