Our society is filled with obsessions. One obsession our society has is "being pretty." If your hair isn't perfectly curly or pin straight, its not pretty. If your eyebrows aren't precisely lined with an arc or a point that could kill or they are too thick or too thin, you're not pretty. If your contour or highlight isn't "on fleek" you're not pretty. If you have acne and can't or decide not to cover it up, you're not pretty, you're disgusting. If you're not a size zero with toned abs and legs you're not pretty. Personally, I think all of that is crap.
People tell me all the time how lucky I am to have a pretty face. When I misunderstand something, "it's OK because I'm pretty." A stigma following pretty is that I don't have to be smart. I'm the exact opposite of that. I take so much pride in my academics that I'd rather sit home and study on the weekends than be drunk at a party. I stay up late studying for tests and writing papers because my future goals are the only thing on my mind right now.
Another stigma that goes along with "being pretty" is wanting to be hired at a job just because I have a pretty face. Granted, it'll supposedly attract more customers and so on, but I want to be hired for a job because I am qualified enough for it, not because of how I may look. There could come a day I wake up late and don't have time to put a full face of make up on, or I don't look my best for whatever reason; am I going to get fired because of that?
A third stigma that comes along with "being pretty" is by far my least favorite. Supposedly I need a man to take care of me. I laugh when I hear this because as Destiny's Child sang many years ago "My Mama taught me better than that." It's beyond true. I don't need a man to depend on. I'm plenty capable of taking care of myself and living without a man. I don't need the opinions of someone else to dictate my daily decisions. I may be pretty but I am strong and independent too.
Lastly, it drives me absolutely insane when people tell me "You're pretty, you must have it so easy." Supposedly I'm supposed to be happy all of the time because I'm pretty. I can't have the brain capacity for emotions other than happy and sad. If I decide to not wear make up or dress down, people are asking me if I'm OK and what's wrong all day. Nothing is wrong, I just felt like dressing down and not wearing make up like every other student on this campus, is that OK? I can't be smart and I constantly have to wonder if people are nice to me because they are genuinely nice or because they think I'm pretty. I can't be strong and god forbid I'm independent. I have to fit the mold of this perfectly pretty person all of the time. Does that really sound easy? Because I hate it. Screw the stupid mold, that'll make it easy.
These stigmas really get under my skin. People assume because I have a pretty face I am all of these things. They couldn't be more wrong about me. In my opinion, it doesn't matter how you look as long as you're happy with yourself. Everyone is "pretty" in their own way. I find it funny how people preach on social media how we shouldn't be judged for how we look, yet the judgement continues and only seems to get worse.
Don't listen to social and societal stigmas. Don't fall into the traps of their labels. Be who you are and love who you are.
