Dear Societal Standards,

I am DONE letting you control my outlook on life and the way I view myself. Who says that if my teeth aren't perfectly straight and white then I am somehow less desirable? In other countries this is not the standard at all, I am sorry that my efforts aren't good enough. Brushing my teeth twice, even three times, a day isn't enough anymore. I'm sorry, but I am not spending money on expensive kits just to try and make them a little whiter, I have enough to do throughout the day. I do not need to add worrying about making sure my teeth are white enough.

Why is your idea of beauty so distorted?

You have set the standards so high that they are nearly impossible to reach without destroying oneself. When did uniqueness become an issue? I do not want to be some cookie cutter mold that all humans are forced to conform to. I know that I can never achieve what society tells me is beautiful for a woman, and for so long I strived to look like that. I was told that I was only worth the amount of name brand clothing I wore, the size of my waist, the size of my butt and boobs, perfect hair, a thigh gap, and the flatter my stomach the better.

When did the definition of beautiful for men simply mean tall, dark, and handsome and women need to be skinny, have blonde hair, blue eyes, and have the perfect tan. These standards are ridiculous, why does my natural hair color effect how beautiful I am. I used to believe that it really did matter and I tried my best to fit in with the crowd. Waisting money on what I thought would make me more attractive, I eventually learned that I just needed to be myself. The trying to fit your idea of beautiful was no longer the focus in my mind.

Once I heard someone say they would never date a girl if one of her toes were larger than her big toe, the most minuscule detail that, in his mind, would end a relationship. Why is it that women are not allowed to have hair anywhere? This is not natural I also do not have the time to shave nor the money to wax or get laser hair removal. It is so unnecessary.

When did you decide that in order to fit in people have to do certain things?

Doing something thing should not make me "cooler" than anyone else. Each person was born with special talents and gifts. Some of us can play sports, some of us are good at art or music, and there are people who are naturally gifted in school. With so many hobbies in this world why do we limit people to a select few to fit in. Why do I have to listen to a certain type of music in order for people to think I am important? I love country music in an area of the United states where most people can't stand it. So what, I am not ashamed of my love for all things country, if there is a banjo playing at the onset of the song I get excited.

Why is name brand the only thing you accept from people worth noticing?

Along with this image of beauty, for some reason you expect us to wear name brand clothing too. As if wearing Nike automatically makes me more fit or brands like Michael Kors and Calvin Klein make me more sophisticated. Clothing does not make anyone better, you know that and I know that yet you still tells us that we must have it. If a famous person wore it then everyone will go and buy it. A shirt that likely cost the company a few dollars to make and now they sell it for triple the price. Yet you still get us to buy into this idea that people will like us more and we will be more successful if we wear name brand clothing

I am not against name brand clothing, I do wear a decent amount myself. It is comfortable and sometimes nice to feel sophisticated when walking around campus. People don't have the money for it so instead we max out credit cards just to buy the newest thing because 'oh no you can't wear the same outfit twice in case someone takes a picture.' Reality is no one pays attention if people wore an outfit multiple times, isn't that why we are spending more money on quality clothing so we can wear it multiple times? You still find a way to make us feel self conscious and no matter what we do it will never be enough.

So societal standards I let you once control my life, but you will no longer grasp my mindset and hold it captive. I was trying to please you and fit into an impossible standard. My uniqueness makes me who I am and the way I am is just fine. I wrote an article recently asking Do You Truly Love Yourself? I forced myself to look at my life and you are the one thing that I need to leave behind. There is no reason to continue letting you rule my life because it is my own and I will now decide what I want to do without consulting you. I wish you the best, I cannot destroy you but I am sure going to try!

From,

A women who has become her own person