I Am An American, Who Is Fed Up With Societal Standards

I Am An American, Who Is Fed Up With Societal Standards

Enough is enough

Dear Societal Standards,

I am DONE letting you control my outlook on life and the way I view myself. Who says that if my teeth aren't perfectly straight and white then I am somehow less desirable? In other countries this is not the standard at all, I am sorry that my efforts aren't good enough. Brushing my teeth twice, even three times, a day isn't enough anymore. I'm sorry, but I am not spending money on expensive kits just to try and make them a little whiter, I have enough to do throughout the day. I do not need to add worrying about making sure my teeth are white enough.

Why is your idea of beauty so distorted?

You have set the standards so high that they are nearly impossible to reach without destroying oneself. When did uniqueness become an issue? I do not want to be some cookie cutter mold that all humans are forced to conform to. I know that I can never achieve what society tells me is beautiful for a woman, and for so long I strived to look like that. I was told that I was only worth the amount of name brand clothing I wore, the size of my waist, the size of my butt and boobs, perfect hair, a thigh gap, and the flatter my stomach the better.

When did the definition of beautiful for men simply mean tall, dark, and handsome and women need to be skinny, have blonde hair, blue eyes, and have the perfect tan. These standards are ridiculous, why does my natural hair color effect how beautiful I am. I used to believe that it really did matter and I tried my best to fit in with the crowd. Waisting money on what I thought would make me more attractive, I eventually learned that I just needed to be myself. The trying to fit your idea of beautiful was no longer the focus in my mind.

Once I heard someone say they would never date a girl if one of her toes were larger than her big toe, the most minuscule detail that, in his mind, would end a relationship. Why is it that women are not allowed to have hair anywhere? This is not natural I also do not have the time to shave nor the money to wax or get laser hair removal. It is so unnecessary.

When did you decide that in order to fit in people have to do certain things?

Doing something thing should not make me "cooler" than anyone else. Each person was born with special talents and gifts. Some of us can play sports, some of us are good at art or music, and there are people who are naturally gifted in school. With so many hobbies in this world why do we limit people to a select few to fit in. Why do I have to listen to a certain type of music in order for people to think I am important? I love country music in an area of the United states where most people can't stand it. So what, I am not ashamed of my love for all things country, if there is a banjo playing at the onset of the song I get excited.

Why is name brand the only thing you accept from people worth noticing?

Along with this image of beauty, for some reason you expect us to wear name brand clothing too. As if wearing Nike automatically makes me more fit or brands like Michael Kors and Calvin Klein make me more sophisticated. Clothing does not make anyone better, you know that and I know that yet you still tells us that we must have it. If a famous person wore it then everyone will go and buy it. A shirt that likely cost the company a few dollars to make and now they sell it for triple the price. Yet you still get us to buy into this idea that people will like us more and we will be more successful if we wear name brand clothing

I am not against name brand clothing, I do wear a decent amount myself. It is comfortable and sometimes nice to feel sophisticated when walking around campus. People don't have the money for it so instead we max out credit cards just to buy the newest thing because 'oh no you can't wear the same outfit twice in case someone takes a picture.' Reality is no one pays attention if people wore an outfit multiple times, isn't that why we are spending more money on quality clothing so we can wear it multiple times? You still find a way to make us feel self conscious and no matter what we do it will never be enough.

So societal standards I let you once control my life, but you will no longer grasp my mindset and hold it captive. I was trying to please you and fit into an impossible standard. My uniqueness makes me who I am and the way I am is just fine. I wrote an article recently asking Do You Truly Love Yourself? I forced myself to look at my life and you are the one thing that I need to leave behind. There is no reason to continue letting you rule my life because it is my own and I will now decide what I want to do without consulting you. I wish you the best, I cannot destroy you but I am sure going to try!


A women who has become her own person

Cover Image Credit: Deposit Photos

Popular Right Now

I Blame My Dad For My High Expectations

Dad, it's all your fault.

I always tell my dad that no matter who I date, he's always my number one guy. Sometimes I say it as more of a routine thing. However, the meaning behind it is all too real. For as long as I can remember my dad has been my one true love, and it's going to be hard to find someone who can top him.

My dad loves me when I am difficult. He knows how to keep the perfect distance on the days when I'm in a mood, how to hold me on the days that are tough, and how to stand by me on the days that are good.

He listens to me rant for hours over people, my days at school, or the episode of 'Grey's Anatomy' I watched that night and never once loses interest.

He picks on me about my hair, outfit, shoes, and everything else after spending hours to get ready only to end by telling me, “You look good." And I know he means it.

He holds the door for me, carries my bags for me, and always buys my food. He goes out of his way to make me smile when he sees that I'm upset. He calls me randomly during the day to see how I'm doing and how my day is going and drops everything to answer the phone when I call.

When it comes to other people, my dad has a heart of gold. He will do anything for anyone, even his worst enemy. He will smile at strangers and compliment people he barely knows. He will strike up a conversation with anyone, even if it means going way out of his way, and he will always put himself last.

My dad also knows when to give tough love. He knows how to make me respect him without having to ask for it or enforce it. He knows how to make me want to be a better person just to make him proud. He has molded me into who I am today without ever pushing me too hard. He knew the exact times I needed to be reminded who I was.

Dad, you have my respect, trust, but most of all my heart. You have impacted my life most of all, and for that, I can never repay you. Without you, I wouldn't know what I to look for when I finally begin to search for who I want to spend the rest of my life with, but it might take some time to find someone who measures up to you.

To my future husband, I'm sorry. You have some huge shoes to fill, and most of all, I hope you can cook.

Cover Image Credit: Logan Photography

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Minimalism Addresses Our Culture Of Consumption

Decluttering your life and consuming less allows you to live in the moment.


Most of us, at some point in our lives, have become trapped by our culture of consumption. It's a disgusting display of wealth and social status that social divides us. This social divide does a great job at inhibiting our potential at building objective, meaningful relationships. Material possessions become our identity and we begin to lose a true sense of who we really are. It's entirely possible for us to exist as content, beautiful human beings without participating in the culture of consumption we have been duped into believing in.

The problem with our culture of consumption is that it has become a key aspect of every activity. We give too much value to "things," focusing less on their contribution to our overall wellbeing, passions, or happiness. We may experience temporary contentment or pleasure, but it seldom lasts forever. Minimalism eliminates the "things" from our routine, allowing us to find contentment from the simple things in life.

Minimalism is not an expensive hobby one takes up on the quest for self-discovering and happiness. There is this huge misconception that being a minimalist requires a fat wallet and that your life is now restricted by rules and limitations. This simply is not true. This misconception comes from the elitist culture which has emerged through social media outlets. This distorted perception has blurred the individualistic nature of minimalism. A lifestyle often associated as a fad is actually a lifestyle that de-clutters your physical and mental state.

Minimalists are people who…

  • Make intentional decisions; that add value to their lives.
  • Focus on personal growth and the quality of their relationships.
  • Live in the moment.
  • Discover personal potential by eliminating obstacles standing in our way.
  • Consume less and intentionally.
  • Gift experiences rather than material possessions.

There isn't anything necessarily wrong with owning material possessions. If you find importance in an object that genuinely makes you happy then, great! Minimalism doesn't have to look like white walls behind aesthetically placed black furniture. This concept focuses on the internal value system we all forget we control. Start small; declutter your thoughts. We easily get stuck in our routines that we forget to look slow down and just breathe. Living in the moment is by far the most valuable aspect of minimalism because it allows us to feel and experience every minute of our existence.

If you're someone who enjoys nature, there's more value to be found in the adventures we seek out and create than those created for us. Discover birds you've never seen before, wander down trials in your neighborhood, or uncover beaches no one else knows about. You'll find more value in the creation of your own adventure because those experiences are completely your own.

Related Content

Facebook Comments