1. You prepare possible topics of conversation before seeing someone.
Having the ability to sporadically spark conversation with others is a gift that most do not realize they have; it comes easy to them. If you are socially awkward, before meeting someone for the first time or even hanging out with someone you have known for years, you find yourself organizing, even acting out hypothetical conversations based on what the other person likes or dislikes. You do this often enough that you have developed your own system of possibly finding the most interesting or funny thing that happened to you recently to start and then performing a mock dialogue. If this issue gets worse and you find yourself creating flashcards and writing chat topics in a notebook, I urge you to seek further help immediately.
2. You get nervous to hang out alone with that one friend you've known for years but are not the closest to.
In this scenario, we are going to assume this friend of yours is one that you have seen many times but mostly in group settings. You two might share three photos total together and you might not even remember where they go to school. If you are socially awkward, just the mere idea of hanging out alone with this friend gets you worried. You are not sure what you should talk about because you do not know enough about them to talk about what they personally enjoy, but you also are dreading that awkward silence that is inevitable in uncomfortable situations. So for this, I recommend waiting until the last possible minute to answer the group if you can hangout to see who is free. If you time it correctly and see that the one friend that is able to hangout is the one that fits into this category, you can then respond last and join the "I already have plans, sorry" bandwagon while hoping no one asks what those plans are.
3. You get anxious in crowds.
This one could also go hand in hand with being claustrophobic, which is not uncommon for us socially awkward people but make sure you know the difference. If you are socially awkward, going to large group events or festivals makes your palms sweaty. Most of this fear is derived from your anxiety of those you do not know and a hypothetical situation where you might drop something or run into someone and have to interact with them. Also, to you, the thought of being close to strangers and possibly getting hit by a stroller is ever-present in your mind and distracts you from enjoying the true purpose of the gathering or festival. I would say that if you take the risk going at all, go with people close enough to know about your issue with crowds who can accommodate your weird needs. But sometimes, it is best just to stay at home.
4. You are OK with sitting alone on the couch at a party if it means you don't have to interact with others.
When you accept an invitation to a social gathering that has been deemed a party, there are factors that you have considered pre-acceptance. If you are socially awkward, these factors all have to be easily escaped if need be with one key element: a location to sit. You understand that there will be a lot of people there, more than just a group hangout. You understand that with the increased number of bodies in one room, the need for forced conversation will increase. You understand that music will most likely be playing at some point, so dancing might occur, and you will not be participating unless forced against your will. Armed with this information, you are prepared to use your escape route if any of those three factors gets out of hand. You are OK with the fact that, by the end of the night, you might be sitting alone on a couch, chair or beanbag to avoid a nervous breakdown from one or all three overwhelming factors. To this I say, it never hurts to sit this one out.
5. You try too hard to impress the group.
In a group there is usually one person who holds the attention of the others. This member makes everyone laugh, shows them a good time and is generally fun to be around. If you are socially awkward, you try to impress that person and essentially beat them at their own game, make them laugh. You probably have been watching this person while they tell stories or jokes and figured out what it is that they are most interested in. After this preliminary research, you have found a video, song or whatever it is they like the most that you can show them to impress them. If they respond in the way you hope they do, you then get the OK from the group to be quiet and not always do things because you are cool for impressing them. If you have done this, I applaud you and also advise you to come up with more ways to impress them. Otherwise, your cover might be blown.
My Tell All:
For those of you who have not figured out already, I myself am socially awkward. If you are anything like me, you have come to terms with your social awkwardness and have developed ways to work around these restrictions. If you are not like me, you are probably still denying your social state and are not able to admit your disorder. But if you are someone who, after reading this article, has discovered you fall into this category, my condolences. I understand if you do not comment because you are socially awkward and I myself know how hard it is. Good luck to you. Most do not understand our struggle.
