In this day and age, you know that social networks will affect your life in one way or another. Everyone knows about them, and almost everyone uses them on the daily. The insane overuse seems to cause problems or annoyances for people, but whether you’re misusing it or not, social networks have changed the dating scene forever.
When you’re single, it seems that social networks are the go-to when you need to get some background on the new person you’re talking to, but how good a judge of character is someone’s Instagram, really?
Back in the day, if you were interested in someone, you had to physically go up to that person and tell him or her to their face. You had to be bold enough to put yourself out there to possibly get rejected.
Now it seems that, as long as you like their selfie, you’ve made yourself clear. Snapchat conversations are apparently a step in the dating world now too, but how does each social networking application actually affect our romantic lives?
Instagram: the “highlight reel” of your life
The Good:
Instagram is basically a photo diary of your personal experiences. Some people even use Instagram to showcase their talents and boost their notoriety in whatever field there in. Whether it be modeling, fashion design or photography, you can promote whatever you want to on your account.
When you have long-distance relationships in your life, you can share all of the things you’re doing while miles away with one simple click or share a post when you’re missing one another. It’s a great way to share memories with the people you care about most in life.
I don’t know anyone who doesn’t love a birthday shout-out, a special post on his or her anniversary or even an appreciation post for special moments shared. We’re humans, we crave attention and affection, showing some love to your significant other on Instagram is just another way to be able to make them feel good. I always say, if you have the opportunity to make someone smile, do it. Especially if it’s as easy as an Instagram post with a sweet message.
The Bad:
Whether you’re single or in a relationship, there’s no doubting that you look at other Instagram profiles and compare yourself to them. When in a relationship, Instagram brings jealousy and competition to a whole new level. Opportunity is literally at our fingertips whether it’s realistic or not. You can follow models, celebrities or even porn stars. You scroll through your feed and have unlimited photos of people exposing themselves however they choose. Some men and women leave it all out there, half naked or posed just right, while others use it more for showing off their lives and the people they care about.
No matter what types of people you follow, I’ve heard more times than one, that Instagram has caused serious issues in relationships. One of my friends from college went as far as unfollowing someone on her boyfriend's Instagram without him knowing because she was sick of him liking all of her dicey photos. Understandably so, but should she have really done that, or just confronted the issue and explained why she felt it was an issue?
I obviously think the latter is the better choice, but it’s not easy to expose that insecurity you might have because of the, Oh stop, it’s just Instagram, comment that you might hear in response. But really, even if it is just Instagram, some people take those innocent likes as flirting, and no woman or man wants their significant other to be taken as flirting with someone else.
The simple fact is that Instagram causes temptation; you’re constantly seeing other women or men that you could potentially involve yourself with. There are millions of beautiful men and women we see in our everyday lives, but being reminded of all of them constantly while we gaze into our phones before we go to bed each night, sometimes can cause you to act irrationally and cause trust issues within your relationship.
I think that as long as you and your significant other have a mutual respect about it, and a strong relationship, then you won’t have to argue over Instagram. Your beau won’t be flirting by commenting on all of the modeling photos of the Brazilian girl down the hall .
Twitter: The world of tweets
The Good & The Bad:
With Twitter the good and the bad go hand and hand.
Twitter doesn’t seem as problematic as the other social networks because it's just your thoughts. You can post whatever you’re doing, a funny thought, an experience or just retweet and favorite all of the best posts from comedy accounts or friends.
I think the best and worst thing about it ends up being the “sub-tweeting” (when you tweet about someone, but don’t actually address that person directly). The only reason I say it can be a good thing is because it’s a way for you to get your anger out, if that’s what works for you. It can help out your clueless girlfriend or boyfriend when you can’t find the right words yourself.
Girls are the queens of finding something that relates to whatever they’re angry at, and retweeting it so that whoever is in our line of fire is forewarned. However, all of that is immature, which is why I’d have to categorize it as the bad of Twitter too.
Facebook: The Most Official
The Good:
Facebook is the most-used social network in the world. It has the widest age range of users, and it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere anytime soon.
Facebook has also become a very versatile social network. You see a lot of “sharing” on Facebook. You can share things from all over the world, not only personal photos and posts on your profile, but public media as well.
When it comes to dating you can get a good idea about what this person is interested in and who their friends are by what and who they share things with. If you are in a relationship you can share a much larger quantity of photos or comments on Facebook because it has so many options and storage for whatever you decide to post.
The Bad:
You can do so many other things on Facebook that it becomes an enormous storage of photo albums, rather than the “highlight reel” like Instagram.
Those dreaded tagged photos can sometimes cause problems, and the need to be “Facebook official” can sometimes become a feud. I don’t think it should be something that people put so much thought into, if your girlfriend or boyfriend wants it on there, why not?
Some people might want to be “Facebook official,” because you want the people who aren’t close to you as a couple to know that you’re both taken. The reasoning can be because you’re proud of your relationship or insecure about it. It shouldn’t be something to base your relationship on, but, insisting that you don’t want to be “Facebook official” can sometimes seem a bit sketchy.
Snapchat: The Slyest of Them All
The Good:
Once you send something, that person can only view it for the allotted seconds that you sent it for. We keep each other updated on our lives through our “my story,” and we can snap people individually whenever we have something happen throughout our day worth sharing.
I feel I use Snapchat the most because it’s so simple and quick to do. There’s little to no commitment with what you share because it isn’t posted on a profile — it’s shared momentarily. Whether I would send my friends a picture of where I am when I’m out doing something fun, my boyfriend a picture to make him look forward to getting out of practice or my best friends hideous selfies just to make them laugh, it’s all about entertainment.
When you’re dating it can become something that can be humorous and fun to keep in touch while you’re spending time apart. You can get creative or just send simple selfies to remind them that they’re on your mind.
The Bad:
It’s literally an app to leave no evidence behind of whatever sneaky things you’re saying or sending. The temptation, again, seems to never end. Snapchat can become a way to cheat without feeling like it’s really cheating.
Newsflash: Snapchat sexting is cheating.
With Snapchat, even if you do catch your significant other with someone that you don’t know or wouldn’t like them chatting with on their recent Snaps, there is no way to ever know what was actually said or shown.
Not only is it such an easy way to cheat, in the single world it’s become an out for men/women who aren’t bold enough to have actual conversations. I swear, a guy took me on a date, and it went seemingly well, until I got a Snapchat from him after I left with a smirking, shirtless selfie saying “Glad you came.” That ended that love interest pretty quickly.
All in all there will always be good and bad aspects of any changes in the dating world.
If you’re over all the insincerity of Snapchat conversations and immaturity of subtweeting, then don’t settle for it. You’re in control of your social network activity and the activity you participate in.
Social networks can cause issues, but they can also speed up the dating process when trying to get to know someone and give a boost to relationships already in progress. If you were born in the pre-social media age, you wouldn’t even have any way of talking to some of the people from your past. Everyone is so easily accessible now through social media.
I’ve come to realize that if you have a mutual respect and loyalty for the person you’re with, then there’s no reason your social networks should interfere with your relationship.
