It started with books. Romance novels took the world by storm when they initially became popular, as people gushed over the romantic words the main characters spoke and fed off of the dream of someone speaking those words to them. The fantasy of this astoundingly beautiful romantic relationship with someone ended as soon as the book did, and people went about their lives knowing what to expect from romantic relationships in real life, with a flicker of hope that it would someday become something like the fairy tale they just read about. That flicker grew as movies became prevalent in society, and romantic films made people swoon. TV shows followed suit, and today, even young children are exposed to cheesy, romantic shows and movies all the time. As they watch how easy and quick it is to fall in love (typically only taking 30 to 60 minutes), and that every couple is strictly happy and never has any problems, they form the idea in their head that a relationship should be absolutely perfect and if it's not, everything will fall apart. Anyone in a steady, long-term relationship could tell you otherwise, that relationships are not all rainbows and sunshine and flowers. They can be hard work.
What is feeding into this idea that relationships are always perfect? Social media, of course. Although movies, TV shows, and even books still feed into this misinterpretation of romance, there isn't a lot that can be done about those. In fact, there are several others of their kind that counter the idea of a perfect relationship, providing necessary balance to people trying to figure out what romance is about, so they aren't that large of a concern for over-romanticizing relationships. Social media, however, is something that young people consume for a significant amount of time on a daily basis, and since the internet can make everything seem real--no matter how distorted it may actually be--the idea of what a romantic relationship should look like becomes warped in their minds compared to actual reality. This is especially true of young people who have never experienced their first real relationship before. When the time comes for them to enter one, this distorted-reality mentality disrupts the course of the relationship from achieving satisfaction, and in turn the relationship fails.
What I am referring to by stating that social media placing false interpretations of what a relationship should be like are things such as "#relationshipgoals," pictures/videos of models posing as couples having the time of their life, and long screenshots of texts and poetry filled with romantic words that have no proof of actually being said to another human being. I am not trying to rain on everyone's parade and say that these types of relationships don't exist, because I believe that they do. I am simply pointing out what everyone else seems to be ignoring: social media only allows you to see one side, and of course it is going to be the best side of the relationship.
We need to stop allowing ourselves to read the sweet text someone (allegedly) sent to their significant other and calling it "goals." You deserve to be happy in your relationship, you deserve to be treated with respect, and you deserve to have sweet things said to you. But if we allow this perfect relationship template to become ingrained in our minds, the real relationship that could potentially make us very happy may instead disappoint.
"Real" relationships have arguments. They have disagreements, they have mood swings, they have misunderstandings, and they have compromises. The picture-perfect model kissing her picture-perfect model boyfriend (who she probably has only met one time) isn't exactly how things may go in your relationship all of the time, and that's okay. Along with the love and the romance comes these somewhat negative things, but in the end this negativity only builds and strengthens the relationship. In fact, the negativity I mentioned above may not even be considered negative at all, because it has a positive outcome. Social media does not allow its viewers to see those things, creating a false expectation of "perfection" that doesn't exist.
Again, relationships are work. Of course, they shouldn't be difficult, and if you find yourself in the position that it is harder to be with someone than to be without them, you may want to consider breaking it off. But the work and effort you put into your relationship everyday strengthens your love for one another so that you may achieve something that is "#relationshipgoals" worthy. Remind yourself of the work that the cute couple you see online must have gone to in order to be as happy as they are, and you will have a much more well-rounded view on what a relationship should be.
