I am still waiting for Facebook to let me list multiple hometowns, or at least allow me to write "military brat" in place of a town. But, alas, that upgrade has yet to happen. However, Facebook does allow me to list that I am an education major and that I work at a summer camp. As is the nature of working with children in Rhode Island, one is always bound to have a handful of children from military families to educate and entertain. Although this demographic is common in certain regions of the US, such as Rhode Island or the coast of Virginia or Maryland to name a few places, many do not know how to work with these children and keep them in a comfortable, productive environment. One inspiration of the many that made me pursue a career in education was my experience with teachers who did not know how to handle my situation. However, I forgive them because it is a situation that is hardly discussed. While childhood me resented them for making it weird (even well-intentioned weirdness), I understand now that they were not trained or prepared for it in any way. However, in my own journey as a educator I have my experience as a reference point to work with this situation. Here is my crash course!
1. Leave Hollywood in Hollywood
Watching movies like Top Gun , Full Metal Jacket, and A Few Good Men were different in my house. While at times, the movie would be paused for a anecdote of "I knew someone just like that," oftentimes there were jokes made about what the writers/directors messed up on, with the occasional cringing rant of "that's (so) Hollywood!" While children or teens from military families can enjoy these movies, they know that they do not represent reality. I would cringe whenever people thought that they understood me because of fictional movies.
2. Do Not Isolate With Your Words.
Rhode Island has some unique slang that can take a while to get fluent in. As the transplant kid, not understanding what people are saying can feel incredibly isolating. Try to ease into region-specific words gradually, always favoring a region-neutral term if possible, or saying it in a sentence which makes the definition easier to guess by context. A great idea is to make a vocabulary lesson out of what different regions call things, preferably snuck into the context of your unit. However, make sure the child does not feel on the spot with this. Depending on their age and personality, they may not feel comfortable asking what a word means in front of the group.
3. Never Judge
Some people can be pretty judgmental, which is odd given that the individual is both a child and someone who did not choose this lifestyle. The child is not personally responsible for a war or conflict starting! (Looking at you... teacher-who-knows-who-they-are).
4. The Child is There to be Educated/Enriched, Not To Educate You
Right now, their job is to learn math, or nature appreciation, or ballet, or whatever it is that the venue teaches. Just like all the other kids.
5. Do Not Isolate With Assignments
While learning about the town or area a school is located in has its place (place-based education) do not frame it in a way that says that everyone is from this place. My elementary school made a huge deal out of Newport history, which I was fine with to an extent. However, when they obsessively drilled into students' skulls that that was their heritage, it got annoying. While it may have been my classmates' heritage, it was not mine. While there is nothing wrong with learning the history of the surrounding area, make sure that you do not do it in a way that assumes everybody is from the same place. This only felt isolating and lonely. If your goal is "heritage" education, allow students to choose places that apply to them.
6. Explore the Multiple Dimensions of Identity
A lot of identity is based on where one hails from. A lot of educators, however, overemphasize this. As a former military child, I had to find other ways to build identity due to not being able to latch on to a specific place. While my classmates relied on Rhode Island as an identity outlet, I used hobbies, books, movies and television shows to build mine. However, many well-intentioned "identity" exercises were awkwardly focused on Rhode Island, which only made me feel weird.
7. Recognize Going Into Things That The Child May Have a Dark Sense of Humor Without Realizing It
Many individuals who have served in the military have dark senses of humor, which leads the child to grow up in a house with a dark sense of humor. However, the child may not realize that their humor is dark, because it's all they know. While an older child may be able to recognize and separate "home" humor and "outside" humor, a younger child may not know why people are reacting the way they are. This is just something to keep in mind.
8. Be Mindful of Sensitive Subjects
Some topics, especially in History and English classes, may be more sensitive to children from military families than other children. Use your best judgement to decide if a topic is going to be comfortable for all involved, and do not continue if anybody becomes uncomfortable.
9. Nurture an Inclusive Culture Within Your Group
Emphasize that everybody is welcome and valued.
10. Avoid Clichés and Assumptions
Any military kid can spot these from a mile away, and while they may be well-intentioned, they come off as insincere and meaningless.
11. Make Your Side of the Conversation Question-Based
The sentence "What would they know" played on an endless loop in my younger years. Never speak for the child. Your job in this scenario is to listen, not to tell. Also, remember that every individual's experience is unique. Working with one child or ten from this culture does not make you an expert. Every child is a clean slate for you to inspire.
12. Remember That They're Kids
In the end, those who specialize in this demographic agree that the goal is to make them feel like normal kids (as much as possible) and minimize any consequences of their situation. We are the products of a non-traditional childhood who may have had to grow up faster and lose our innocence earlier, but at the end of the day, we enjoy a good game of Mario Kart. Don't expect anyone to be older than they are.
