I am a feminist.
I suppose that is the best way to start this, with my own personal declaration.
I know that it is not a well-received title and label among so many groups. From Rush Limbaugh and his coined term of "feminazi" to those that hear the word "feminist" and believe that they are a group that dream of eradicating men, trust me, I have heard the many critiques.
As a kid, I had never really heard of feminism, not because the women around me were not feminists in practice, but rather no one in my circle of influence ever used that term. It was not until 2010, around age 15, that a dear friend of mine jokingly called me "a little feminist." I had no idea what the word meant, but something in me was ignited and connected strongly to the word. It sounded sweet and almost familiar to my ears. From that moment on, as odd as it sounds, I started using it to describe myself until one day I decided that I should probably research what calling myself a feminist meant.
According to Merriam-Webster's dictionary, feminism could be defined as "the theory of the political, economic and social equality of the sexes." To be a feminist means to stand by these ideas and work toward achieving these goals. It is safe to say, after reading this, I continued to use the label feminist because it was something I fully supported.
Unfortunately, for some, the overall idea of being a feminist means something contrary to its definition. It has become synonymous with hating men and believing that a woman can do something better than a man. Some individuals believe it means that men should fall to the way side and become weak so women can become strong, while others see feminism as a way to get angry and pick arguments.
Truthfully, these are the extremists, not a feminist in true definition. If a feminist believes in the equality of the sexes, then men cannot be tossed aside and torn apart. Feminism demands a place at the table, but not without bringing along their fellow man. To be a feminist means to simply believe in the aforementioned equality of the sexes. I cannot speak for every person that takes up the label of a feminist, but I know that the original intent, something I fully support, is not about picking arguments or bashing men, but rather working to achieve true equality between humans.
These extreme views sadden me, because for me, the word "feminist" brings so many other feelings and sentiments to me. I hear "feminist" and I think of the beautiful males that I know or have seen that have taken up this title to show that they believe that I am of equal human value to them. "Feminist" gives me a sense of belonging, that perhaps there are others who think and desire the same things I do. For me, it can almost be equated with a sense of solidarity.
I believe that there is something brave, almost empowering, about the word "feminist." Perhaps it is the Betty Friedans, the Shonda Rhimes that I see when I hear the word, or maybe it is because I see my friends that are fighting to be seen at the table. I sense a kinship to the strong females that have come before me. It is as if I am not an island in my beliefs. Rather, I am a part of these women, given a seat at the ever growing table of brave strong women that have and continue to fight to be given equal treatment.
I also see the guys in my life when I think of the word “feminist." I think of my guy friend that challenges my own feminism, for he creates an even bigger space for equal treatment. “Feminist” brings to mind another friend that speaks out against sexist theology and sermons. I am reminded of my coworkers, neighbors, old loves and friends who have always encouraged me to be nothing but myself, whatever that looks like, to take my place wherever I so desire.
Perhaps that is why I still use the title, why I am unafraid of how it is perceived when I drop that particular "f" word. I find a sense of solidarity in knowing that there are others that use this word and also dream of an equal world. It does not bother me to explain why I believe what I believe and how I still can call myself a "feminist" among the those that cause harm using this title, because this title gave me the courage to speak up and not only take up my space in the world, but to also fight so others might have the same space. As Lena Dunham once said it best,
“The idea of being a feminist -- so many women have come to this idea of it being anti-male and not able to connect with the opposite sex — but what feminism is about is equality and human rights.”
(If you want to learn more about what specifically feminists are fighting to change in the 21st century, why I believe it is still a relevant word and how feminism is also incredibly beneficial for men, stay tuned for part two of "So You're Like A Feminazi Right?")
