Well, after five years, it’s time to say goodbye. Going into this year, I had all these high expectations and really wanted to make my last season the best one yet, like your typical senior who doesn’t want to look back and regret not doing something. In reality, those thoughts kind of faded in the midst of just trying to make it through another full semester of classes. Oddly enough, it didn’t seem like this was my last go-round until very recently when we started setting drill for the senior recognition game. I’d been so caught up in my schoolwork and attempting to have a social life while still managing to work, that it never really hit me until it was time to start letting go.

Let me tell you, it’s really hitting home.

Here we are, a week from what is probably my last night on the field, senior night at The Rock, and I can’t help but think about the friends I’ve made, the memories I have, how all of it has impacted me personally, and how much has changed in five years. For the past week or so, standing on Pride Field at rehearsal has brought back so many memories, good and bad. Thinking back to when I was a scared, super shy, little freshman makes me feel old and like I need to fast forward to graduation. However, as ready as I think I am to step into the next chapter of my life, I know I’m going to miss everything about USM, especially being a part of The Pride. When I showed up that first year for band camp, I had no idea what to expect, especially not sitting through a losing season of football. But I never could have expected lots of what I’ve gotten out of my time in this band.

Being given the opportunity to march in The Pride was one of the best things that happened to me as that little freshman who barely knew a soul on this campus. Coming from a small private school where the band was all of twenty people and jumping into a college marching band of several hundred at a university of thousands of students was quite different in many ways. After band camp, I could walk around and see familiar faces I saw on the field every day. I ran into friends I made on the guard and was able to become closer to some of them. If it hadn’t been for those friends, I’d have spent a lot more time sitting in my dorm room by myself. To this day, the majority of my friends are people I met in band; many of them are people I hope to keep in touch with once life pulls us further down our own paths.

My sophomore year, I was given a chance to do something I never thought I would do, be a captain of the guard. The idea alone scared the daylights out of me. Believe you me, it wasn’t easy stepping into that kind of role when the majority of the guard was several years older than me. Thankfully, I had some awesome co-captains to help me figure out the operation. These last four years as a captain, have taught me so much about myself, what I’m capable of doing, how to manage my time, and how to be a leader, even when it means having some unhappy people.

It’s given me the opportunity to work with other instructors in this field, allowing me to learn more about marching band. On the flip side of of that is being given the opportunity to teach young minds how to do something I love and help them learn some of those lessons that marching band comes with. I never imagined myself getting up in front of a group of people to teach, much less write routines for them to perform.

But there is so much more that comes with being a part of The Pride. While it’s a pretty big sacrifice in terms of time and having to balance all your responsibilities, missing out on holidays, having to miss class on occasion, and not seeing your family for months at a time, the sense of family you have in this band is incredible. We spend so much time together at rehearsals, in classes, and sometimes even outside of class that the people you march with, whether they’re in your section or not, become like a second family. Even the directors know most of their students' names and make a point to get to know them a little bit.

For a couple of years, I was only able to go home once or twice during the fall because of our schedule. Last year, I missed being with my family on Christmas because we left for the bowl game that morning. But being able to laugh with my friends at practice, during games, and on the road while doing something I love took a bit of the sting out of that.

In light of recent events in our country, our director told us that The Pride is a place for everyone, where each member will be accepted and treated equally, no matter who they are. Even though the band was like that from my first day, hearing him say it made me realize just how true it was and reminded me that our band is a home for everyone, where friends and memories are made, where you learn how to keep working even when you just want to pass out in the grass.

Being in The Pride also means you represent our university in a very public way. Representing my country and my school in Ireland a few years ago was an experience I'll never, ever forget. Being able to represent my school at different universities, in parades, and other various performance opportunities is truly an honor to me. You don't get those kinds of chances in many organizations on campus.

There are many who gripe about their band scholarship not being worth the time and effort they have to put into it or that they don’t want to work with or under a certain person or group of people. While I understand that, it’s never been about the scholarship or people I can't work with. While the way things run has been a little screwy at times, that would never stop me from coming back. I’ve always chosen to do band because I truly enjoy being a part of the band and I honestly couldn’t imagine what my time at USM would be like without it. I barely know what to do with the bits of free time I get now. All the time I’ll have without band rehearsals is kind of mind boggling.

Some people may say I’m crazy for enjoying my time in The Pride so much and staying with it for so long. Who knows, maybe I am insane. Just thinking about all the hours I’ve devoted to this organization makes my head spin. Real talk, five years on the color guard here is a lot of time, especially when you consider the extra time that comes with being in a leadership role for four of those. Like anything else in life, it hasn’t always been a cake walk; every year there is always a ton of anxiety, frustration, laughter, unique challenges, and difficult situations that prepare you for most anything you’ll go through in life. But in my heart, I know I wouldn’t trade any of those hours or the general craziness that is marching band for anything in the world.

It was hard enough to keep from crying last Friday as I stood in front of the Pride with all the seniors to sing the alma mater just like we do at the end of our last weekly practice. I know standing in front of them and performing “Amazing Grace” next Friday will be even more difficult. I’m just lucky I got an extra year to be a part of this organization. Somehow, this has become a big part of who I am. Letting that part go and stepping back from something I’ve been so involved in for so long is going to be weird and kind of difficult.
Not having to go through a week of sweltering band camp, arrange my classes around band rehearsals, miss nights on the town with friends, pull all nighters to get assignments done, practice in the rain, and stress about remembering and writing routines will be weird. It will be equally weird watching from the audience as The Pride goes on the field instead of nervously standing there among them. But it’s time to accept alumni status and step back so the next generation of P-ride students can experience what it has to offer. Hopefully, their marching years will mean as much to them as they do to me and the many band kids that came before us.