I never thought of myself as someone who would be married early. I always said, sometime in my thirties probably..

Now I'm with the man I know I'll spend the rest of my life with, and we're suddenly talking about our entire future together, and I know that soon enough, my idea of being married in my thirties will only have been a silly thought.

I feel like I'm the opposite of most people because I actually didn't want to be engaged young. Not really because of how many people talk negatively of it, but just because I suck at admitting I'm an adult. I'm not really sure if that's because of all the responsibility that falls on being an adult, or if it's because I know when my parents think about that fact I'm not so little anymore, it upsets them-even if they don't say it. Maybe it's a combination of the two. Regardless, the feeling that I have inside of me, knowing in another two years when I'm done with school that I may be engaged-is terrifying. But on a completely different-also exciting-level, I can't wait to start my life with a man who I have full faith in being a great husband and father-one day.

It kind of sits with you for awhile. You call yourself by their last name, and it just leaves you in silence. You go back and forth between-well this was my name for my entire life, and now it's going to change. To-but I get to be a wife to someone who has made me see what all I can be, so if taking his name shows even a little of what we have together, then I'd take it a million times and never get tired of it.

There were times I got so afraid of being engaged that I tried thinking of a bunch of different reasons as to why I shouldn't marry him specifically or be engaged at all-to anyone ever. "Well you're too young, what if it ends badly and as a result people say "I told you so" and you have to live with that forever."

What if this isn't the right decision?

How do you know?

When will I know?

You go through all these different stages of anxiety, doubt, fear, happiness, "can't believe this", woohoo, yay, "what if", and questioning all at once. Until finally, no amount of fear, anxiety, doubt or questioning can leave you with seeing a future without the man you love in it. You finally move onto that last stage of acceptance. And you never really go back in the direction of wondering or worrying. You just accept and know in your heart that this truly is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, and if there are problems, you'll figure out a way to sort through them.

So yes, it is a scary thing. I'm sure everyone out there thinking about proposing to someone you love is wondering the best way to do it or say it. They went through the stage of questioning, but have known for awhile this was what they wanted to do. Now as scary as it is, the thought of engagement and then marriage is what you start to plan your entire life around-that one person.

Yes..it is a scary that. I'm sure everyone out there, knowing "that question" will be popping up soon is excited and scared all at once. Wondering where the rest of your life will take you with this person you love. Wondering how they'll do it or say it, but knowing that regardless your answer is one you have known is the right one.

But for the both of you,

&& even me,

and him,

It will be okay. No matter what path you decide to run towards, at the end we all end up the same way. It's just a matter of finding what makes us the happiest when we're all here. And I don't know about you, but the person I know I'll be engaged to soon enough, is what makes me the happiest of all.